Ask the therapist: 'My son is a social recluse'

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Published: Thu 7 Jan 2021, 9:47 PM

My son mostly keeps to himself. He does not like to talk to too many people and does not share his problems with us. He is all of 12. Is that something we should be worried about? — Sunaina Kumar

By Dr Annette Schonder

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Dear Sunaina, thank you for reaching out to discuss your son. Children change throughout their development and, at times, no longer look to the parents to discuss their struggles and challenges. They often want to solve their own problems and confide in their trusted peers, rather than their parents. I understand how you and your husband would find his current behaviour concerning, but he might just be a typical pre-teen.


I will describe some behaviours that are an indication that a child is struggling emotionally and will need help from his parents, teachers, and counsellor:

•He is socially isolating/has no close friends


•His teachers report that he is eating lunch alone, or has poor grades, or is being bullied

•He oversleeps or is suffering from insomnia

•He is eating too much, or has a poor appetite

•He is demotivated

•He has no energy

In general, it’s good to be aware of dramatic shifts in behaviour and demeanour, or if he just does not appear to be his usual self.

One last thought, it is very easy for children to withdraw into their bedrooms, because they can be endlessly entertained with their gadgets. Therefore, I would also investigate how much screen time he has, and what activities could entice him out of his room.

Dr. Annette is an integrated therapist at https://chmc-dubai.com/--


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