Ask the Therapist: My peace is constantly being disrupted
Sometimes, a person who gives too much can wind up feeling empty and fragile on the inside
I'm finding myself in an increasingly fragile state of mind these days. I try to keep my composure, but my peace is constantly disrupted by the people around me. How can I keep this from happening? — Dheeraj
It sounds like you are in a difficult situation where you are feeling emotionally fragile, trying not to break down, while the people around you are constantly disrupting you.
What I would like to do is encourage you to discover and address the reasons that make you feel fragile. Maybe you could spend some time journalling on what is going on with you. You can start by looking at your job situation, your family, and your social life. Also, have a close look at how much ‘me time’ you have and really think about whether you are meeting your own needs. Sometimes, a person who gives too much can wind up feeling empty and fragile on the inside. That is why it is so important for you to maintain a healthy balance between giving and attending to your own needs.
Next, I would like to address how you feel about the people around you. I see that they are disruptive to you, and that is disturbing your peace and composure. It could be that they are the sole source of your emotional fragility, but usually there are more aspects to consider. It is important to your recovery to learn to set strong boundaries with people. You can use positive communication to signal a definite no, such as, “I am not available now, but we can talk tomorrow morning.” Alternatively, you can say, “I am relaxing, please give me the space and time to do so.” I would also encourage you to open communication about how you are feeling when you are disrupted by others, thereby setting the tone for mutually respectful behaviour.
(Dr Annette is integrated psychotherapist at CHMC, Dubai. Got a query? Email us on email@example.com)