Dear Therapist: Someone ghosted me and I can't get over it

Dubai - Making sense of the world we inhabit



By Prateeksha Shetty

Published: Wed 8 Dec 2021, 6:31 PM

I met someone a while ago and I really got along with her. Like house on fire. And she seemed genuinely interested too but then out of nowhere she started ghosting me. I just can’t find any logical explanation for it. — Name withheld

Dear Writer, ghosting does not have any logical explanation! It is often engaged in individuals with avoidant or anxious attachment styles or people who find it difficult to communicate/regulate their emotions. The relationship may have evoked strong feelings within her which may have led her to cut you off to avoid pain. It could also be possible that she does not reciprocate, but instead of being upfront about it, she chose to detach, as this is a much easier option and she does not have to deal with your pain. I am sure, you might have retraced your steps to check what went wrong or how you might have contributed to this; but the truth is that ghosting tactics have very little to do with the ‘ghosted person’, in this case — you! It is crucial that you recognise this in order to move on to healthier and honest relationships.


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