Dear Therapist: I’m tired of being asked about my baby plans

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By Prateeksha Shetty

Published: Thu 11 Nov 2021, 7:19 PM

Last updated: Thu 11 Nov 2021, 7:30 PM

I’m tired of being asked about my baby plans. Everyone who strikes a conversation with me and learns that I’m married but without a child feels entitled to ask when I’m planning to have kids... without even checking if I do want to have kids at all. I’m tired of such intrusive questions being thrown around like it’s no big deal. — Name Withheld

Dear Writer, I can empathise how tedious it can be to answer intrusive and opinionated personal questions! In some cultures, such questions may be normalised (wrongly) as a form of ‘concern’ towards the other person. The harsh truth is that the questions won’t stop coming nor the unwarranted judgement, the only thing to work on therefore is working towards a better response to them. You can come up with neutral, politically correct answers or just simply refuse to answer. Your responses can be provided based on the level of intrusiveness; sometimes, you can choose to cut them off in the first instance, other times, depending on the nature of the relationship, you may simply stay quiet or bring up another topic. You cannot stop people from judging your life but you can minimise the effect it has on your mental health!

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