Indian Matchmaking star Sima Taparia dishes out marriage advice on visit to Dubai

Are you a cynic when it comes to ‘arranged marriage’? Then Indian Matchmaking star Sima Taparia or ‘Sima Aunty’, as she is more popularly known, might just change your mind, that is, if she hasn’t already.

When the popular Netflix reality show debuted its first season back in July 2020 in #StayHome times, it not only created an impact globally, but made a star of Sima, the charismatic Mumbai-based matchmaker at the heart of all the drama.

When Sima Aunty took up the responsibility of finding suitable matches for a group of young, urban men and women across India and the United States, the world was hooked to their individual quests to ‘settle down’ - be it first dates, disappointments, hopes and dreams, family histories or more.

Like in any reality show, the main players clicked with, moved, annoyed and exasperated viewers in different ways, while Sima Aunty tried to orchestrate possible matches with grace, thoughtfulness and a ‘face reader’ who we would definitely like to cross-question some day.

Indian Matchmaking’s debut did draw a fair share of critics who accused it of glorifying stereotypes and perpetuating biases. There are also many who while accepting its flaws appreciated the honesty and candor, and often veiled sense of humour with which it provided a glimpse into how most marriages are made in India.

Meanwhile, Sima Taparia has emerged from the bouquets and the brickbats as something of an icon, thanks to the buzz created by Indian Matchmaking which is currently airing its second season on Netflix. Meeting Sima in person recently at Dubai restaurant The Crossing, we got a hint of the charming yet firmly decisive personality that no doubt is an asset in her profession. When she talks, you want to listen.

She didn’t shy away from candidly embracing her popularity, saying Dubai had a “magnetic force” that kept bringing her back to the city.

“Dubai is a huge fan of Sima Taparia; they have given me so much of love and respect. So that pulls me back here again and again! Every caste, every community, everybody loves me, and they watch my show. And they love Sima Taparia in the show.”

‘I never expected anything’

We asked her if Indian Matchmaking would ever come to Dubai.

“I have told Netflix that we should shoot Season 4 in Dubai. I have given them the idea and it all depends on them - so we might come here for Season 4.”

She also commented on being stunned by the rousing reception to Indian Matchmaking, which she never assumed would make such a huge impact as shows “came and went” on Netflix on a monthly basis.

“Frankly speaking, I never expected anything from the show! But it was amazing, and beyond my dreams. I got a thousand phone calls daily. I had to disconnect my phone landline. I had to remove my number from Google! That was the position. Indian Matchmaking was everywhere - every newspaper, radio, channel, interview! It had taken the world by storm, rocking 180 countries.”

The show’s popularity obviously boosted her profile as well.

Sima shared how “for the first time in history, the Mumbai stock market stopped thrice a day and they took my interview. It was such a big thing - I could never dream that the show would gain so much popularity.”

A born matchmaker

Sima began matchmaking, she revealed, over two decades ago when she successfully arranged the wedding of her sister, now “happily married” in Boston, US.

“Since childhood I had a unique ability to talk to people, to socialize, to understand their personalities,” she remarked, also admitting she loved traveling and would often take the initiative to talk to introverts (“I’m fond of doing that”).

In 2005, she started her matchmaking business.

“I thought, why not? It’s a great help to society. And that’s my goodwill; I consider (clients) my children, like my own daughter or son, and do it. This is not only a business. There is an emotional connection. I am going deeply into the family, I am understanding everything, and then I match. So people believe in me.”

Patience and compromise

Does she feel matchmaking has become more popular as a result of her show?

“Yes,” she said, commenting on how arranged marriages were viewed in a rather one-dimensional way and people were often unaware that they had varied choices if they chose to employ a matchmaker.

She cautioned youngsters, however, against sticking too closely to their ‘checklists’.

“Many youngsters want an arranged marriage now. And I have told them, you will never get 100 per cent of your checklist; if you get 60-70 per cent, you should proceed. And by staying together you can make 100 per cent. That’s my ‘guru mantra’ to youngsters.”

Sima believes any union be it a love match or an arranged marriage, requires work and compromise. 
“I would say there is lot of adjustment in a love marriage also. It’s ‘love at first sight’, but when they stay together then they know you have to be flexible.”

She reflected on how not only marriage but all of life is about adjustment at some point or the other.

“If you are working, you adjust according to situations. Then why not in married life? I want to give an example - when you’re at the airport, and the flight is late, what do you do? You just sit, read, get a coffee or talk… so there, you can adjust; for hours you are sitting quietly, and you have patience. Patience is very important, for your life to go smoothly.”

She also emphasized the importance of qualities like “give and take, loyalty, caring” in an era where there tended to be a lot of “ego” amongst young people who are “smart, focused and financially independent.”

‘You get divine blessings’

As a matchmaker, what is the most challenging part of Sima’s job?

“I think any work in the world is challenging. But in matchmaking, when things materialize you get a sense of satisfaction. You get divine blessings, from the couple, from the parents. It is challenging because, when they give their criteria, I have to fulfill that. Many times it doesn’t happen and I have to work for years for clients.”

Acknowledging that despite all her efforts destiny plays a huge part in bringing people together, Sima recalled one of her viral lines from Indian Matchmaking, “Ultimately, my efforts are meaningless if the stars are not aligned.”

She said, “God has sent me on this earth as just a mediator. So I am doing his work. I try my best; when a rishta is not happening or someone is not satisfied, it’s challenging for me and I have to guide youngsters.”

Sima ended the conversation on a lighter note by weighing into the many Internet memes that sprung from Indian Matchmaking, saying she enjoyed them.

“This show had 150 memes, which no show had! Whenever I had free time, I used to see these memes and they tickled my funny bone,” she said, lauding the creativity that went into making them.

She recalled “marriages are breaking like biscuits” apart from “the stars are not aligned” as one of the most popular dialogues from the show; we look forward to many more.

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