Love Me Tender

A new centre for special needs kids - Tender Hearts - recently opened its doors in Dubai. Rohit Nair caught up with the founders to find out what got them going

 

LEARNING LIFE SKILLS:(clockwise from above) Varun and Rohan practise yoga with their instructor; Varun and Tanay after a training session on cooking and serving ameal; nine-year-old Sahib gets amartial arts lesson
Even though Varun was eight years old, he barely spoke a word. He wasn't just shy, or introverted; he avoided social contact. He used to go into fits of rage, pull his hair out and even bite and claw his mother, Neena Raina, when he was uncomfortable (eight years later, she still has the marks). Much like the parents in Dubai Autism Center's advert - the one where an autistic boy throws a tantrum and presses all the buttons in the elevator and the aghast group looks daggers at the parents - Neena too has wished, at times, that the earth would open up and swallow her.
"Everyone thought he was mad. that was the word they chose to describe him," says Neena. Only Varun wasn't mad, or mute or antisocial. He has autism, like many other kids in the UAE (around the world, a child is diagnosed with autism every 20 minutes). But when he saunters down from his karate lesson and greets me, he's as amicable and cheerful as anyone can be. His mother coaxes him into singing for us and he obliges, belting out Frank Sinatra's classic My Way - it's one of his favourites - almost like he was singing the story of his life. And, boy, can he sing! It's a talent that has given him a voice, and Neena wants every child like him to find their own secret power. That's why she, along with her close friend Arti Khazanchi, decided to open up Tender Hearts Arena in Umm Suqeim, a recreational facility for kids with special needs. Correction: Special abilities.

MOTHER'S TOUCH: Neena Raina with her son Varun, 16, who is autistic
Neena and Arti's journey was not easy. "Even the legislature and code for such an enterprise didn't exist in the UAE. We basically spent the best part of the last three years between various government departments, grappling with a legal infrastructure we were, prior to this, oblivious of." Now, Tender Hearts is directly under Dubai's Community Development Authority, with Neena and Arti as stakeholders and they're working with schools, centres and all sorts of programmes across the UAE.
The facility, over a month old, has taken in about two dozen children with varying levels of a broad spectrum of disabilities, like ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder), ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder), autism spectrum disorders, Down Syndrome and cerebral palsy. The activity leaders - "We don't call them teachers," says Neena - have already noticed marked improvements in some of the kids. One of them, who has been coming every day, was quiet, detached and wouldn't even make eye contact. After a couple of weeks, Tender Hearts realised he loves to paint and has an incredible talent for it. Now he's happy, chirpy, greets people, makes eye contact and is sociable to all.

(Left to Right)Neena and her business partner Arti Khazanchi
The ladies tell us one of their favourite stories - the boy with cerebral palsy. "He does karate and yoga, and is so full of life. He's an inspiration. He doesn't even use his wheelchair, which is quite significant, as many CP kids are wheelchair-bound. And it's all because of his mother. She is an incredible woman," says Neena.

Fact box  Tender Hearts currently has programmes like cooking, music, arts and crafts, yoga, martial arts, theatre and more. There's also an entertainment area and library with puzzles and activity books. The first two sessions are free of cost, and Tender Hearts requires that parents bring their kids at least twice a week for four weeks. For more information, log on to tenderhearts.ae or call +971 508873455

She adds that the most important participants in the child's journey are the parents. "We understand that many parents are scared, some are in denial - 'my child doesn't have any disability' - some don't want to talk about their child's disability, and some just don't want to fight for their kids," says Neena. "I remember when I took Varun rock climbing. In the disclaimer form, I had to put down that he was autistic. They refused to let him climb, even though I knew that he could and I was with him the whole time. Most parents would just lower their heads and walk away, but you need to fight."
Neena's husband Sanjay - with whose help she opened the facility - points out that Tender Hearts is a "sort of a culmination of our life experiences with him [Varun]". &Today, Varun has his own daily routine. He bikes to the gym, takes the bus to the places he needs to go and, most significantly, is very sociable. He's a bright spark in any room.
But it's not always this easy, warns Arti. "Some kids need more time and we need to give that to them. The goal is to tap into their talents, and use that to give them other skills like social and life skills."
It's also critical that the kid's family knows about his/her progress - at all times. We often send our kids to activities like music class or ballet or karate. We drop them off, the door closes and then we pick them up. Do we even know if they enjoy it? Do we know if they're learning anything? Which is why all activities at Tender Hearts are recorded via CCTV cameras, and activity leaders compile daily reports, that are shared with parents.
Another important point that Neena gets to the fore is that siblings often get neglected and come under a lot of stress, having to deal with their differently abled brothers and sisters. "We have separate workshops and sessions for siblings and parents, so they can better cope too."
Finally, Neena and Arti say what they're doing is giving context to the daily activities for kids who don't know what to do. They are much more easily able to integrate into society and be independent. "Isn't that what we all want for all our kids?"
Photos by Dhes Handumon
rohit@khaleejtimes.com 

• Editor's Picks