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My new business idea: Destination funerals

If there's even a shadow of doubt about any part of the carefully orchestrated procedure, there are websites to handhold you.

Almost anybody who's anybody is having a destination wedding. Even those who are not spending copious sums of money getting 200-odd guests carted to an exotic locale, and then putting them up in a hotel as distinguished as the company, are trying to find a little place in the sun - away from the rat race and the predictability - where they can exchange vows and be man and wife (or woman and husband, if you are a feminist).
There's a warm, heady sense of romance about destination weddings. And a sense of life. in the sun-dappled waters of Bali or amid whispering willows at a Swedish resort. Yes, destination weddings are definitely something I approve of: I always vehemently nod my head when I hear of them.
Which is why I was somewhat gobsmacked when I came across the new-age concept of destination funerals. Reportedly, they may be the Next Big Thing of third millennial living. You can now plan a lavish (or not-so-lavish) customised funeral for yourself (while you are alive obviously), and it becomes like a sort of last will and testament; you need to chart out of the entire ceremony - as you would like to see it unfurl - at a place of your choice (fancy a beach? Or a hill station? What about a fashion capital - if you're a fashionista? Or Paris because you'd like to spend afterlife somewhere close to where Jim Morrison is hanging out?). Most importantly, the plan needs to automatically kick into action the moment you kick the bucket.
If there's even a shadow of doubt about any part of the carefully orchestrated procedure, there are websites to handhold you. For instance, I came across this useful piece of "news you can use" on imortuary.com: ". if you will be burying the body in another location, you will need to coordinate with a funeral home at the destination. If you will be scattering the remains (which will most likely have been cremated where you live), you will need to check local regulations regarding where you are allowed to do so. Of these two options, the latter is the more common; it is much easier to transport cremated remains rather than a preserved body, and you will have more flexibility in how you time the ceremony."
My first reaction to reading about this phenomenon, strangely, was: will there be catering at a destination funeral? Say I am planning my own, and I have in mind a contingent of family, friends and well-wishers who I wish to gather solemnly at some lovely place, won't these 'guests' be on the lookout for some snacks and drinks once the ceremony is over? I mean, most of them would be travelling long distances to get to my preferred spot for resting so it's not entirely unreasonable to be hungry while travelling. Food will definitely be part of the show, but the question is: should I line up a set menu that panders to popular taste or my own palate? Food for thought.
And then, what about air tickets in case I'm keen to be buried overseas (and let's face it, if I am having a destination funeral, it better be overseas; kind of stupid to say, "Let's hold my destination funeral in the neighbouring village") and hotel stays, and overall travel logistics for the mourning party? Do I need to speak to a travel agent, and get a package deal (and save some money in the process)? Would my funeral guests be okay with a bed-and-breakfast type of accommodation, or would they insist on a boutique hotel (I have some seriously fussy folks in my life, who will not let a death make them compromise on their lifestyle)?
For entrepreneurial sorts, destination funerals could be a good business model to undertake. Imagine the ancillary sector that will be spawned around it, with you as the hub. Once you get over the underwhelming thought of death being a profit generator, you will realise the funny thing about life is that it's always business as usual. Even if you're calling out from the grave.
sushmita@khaleejtimes.com