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As I pen this down, a dear friend is packing her life of more than 20 years in multiple cardboard boxes. She's headed to her home country to build a new life - to start her career in a field, which will bring her true happiness. The future as of now is uncertain, but her determination will make up for it. Ever since she reached this courageous, big decision with her family, we've spoken amply on how life would be from here on. Of course, answers to certain questions are tough to find.
Last week, we said goodbye and it left us both moist-eyed. We've not even known each other for two complete years. Yet, the tears didn't seem uncalled for. For purely selfish reasons, of course, I'd want her to stay back or perhaps not be the first to leave, amongst us. I am also aware that this is the first of many goodbyes I'd say in my years of stay here. Job changes, transfers in existing jobs, change of weather/scenery and so on will bring me face-to-face with similar situations, every now and then.
Having said that and shed a few tears, I can say that the whole experience has taught me a lot about myself, as well relationships. If everything around is temporary should we be investing our time and energies in friendships? Goodbyes do many things to us. They serve as a reminder to our expat lives that are built on shaky, temporary parameters. They test our relationship with not just one another, but also the city - will we stay in touch and how? How quickly will I be able to develop a new friendship, worthy enough to replace one with hers? Or rather, how long am I allowed to complain about her being gone? Of course, answers to certain questions are tough to find.
But here's what I do know. It's not easy to live without a bunch of friends. In such scenarios, 'until it lasts' sounds like a lovely option.
Yes, goodbyes are hard to say, but need to be said. So, until we meet next, goodbye. We shared a lovely time, until it lasted.
purva@khaleejtimes.com
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