3 UAE supermoms tell us what it's like to raise triplets

If you thought superheroes came in six-packs and wore leotards and capes, think again.

If you thought superheroes came in six-packs and wore leotards and capes, think again. If you have seen mothers of multiples, you will know what it is like to have superpowers, tireless energy and endless patience. This is a workforce that is on call 24/7 - they don't get paid, cannot go on a holiday, or even call in sick. On this Mother's Day, Anjana Sankar speaks to three supermoms of the UAE who have the challenging job of bringing up triplets.
The mum who has zero 'me time'
"When I think about my future, I have this vision that I am heading to a subway station, and my three kids are running in three different directions. It is scary. But it is my destiny, I'd not exchange it for anything in the world."
Bozena Maria Nowak, 35, from Poland
Last time Bozena Maria Nowak had a 'me time' was when she stepped out to the salon for a quick haircut. That was one of the rare moments when the 35-year-old Polish mother in Abu Dhabi got a break from her triplets - Agata, Ada and Aniela.
"It is overwhelming at times - both physically and emotionally. But then, happiness does come with a price," said Bozena.
And three bundles of happiness meant the price too was three times higher. "In the first three months, I hardly slept for an hour. I was feeding them, burping them, cleaning and putting them to bed round the clock. That is all I did 24 hours a day. I did not even have time to take a shower."
Bozena says she and her husband Greg, who is an engineer in Abu Dhabi, were in for a shock when they came to know they were going to have triplets.
"It is something we had least expected. Till the 13^th week of pregnancy, we were told it was twins. I was totally terrified when I knew it were three babies and not two," said Bozena. "For the first three weeks, the kids were at the NICU (neonatal intensive care unit) because they were born prematurely at 32 weeks. But once we took them home, then began the real challenge. They were on a three-hour feeding schedule. Pumping milk alone took an hour and they were not sucking properly. By the time, I finished feeding all three, it was time to clean and change diapers for the first one."
Bozena said two people were needed all the time, and she had help from her mother during the first month, and later from her mother-in-law.
Now six months old, Agata, Ada and Aniela are giving their mom some breathing space. "I must say the worst part is over. It is getting better every week and every month. I get an hour's break between feeds. And they are sleeping better at night.
"But there is also lots of screaming. When one starts crying, the other two have to join the chorus. It is like they are setting the rules of the game, and I have to learn what each one needs."
Bozena says she is well-aware that motherhood has just begun and there is a lifetime ahead. "When I think about my future, I have this vision that I am heading to a subway station, and my three kids are running in three different directions. It is scary. But it is my destiny and I would not exchange it for anything in the world," said the mother.
'I wanted twins, but got triplets instead'
"The best thing about having triplets is that they don't have to look for friends elsewhere. It is like they wake up with their best friends every day. They share an incredible bond."
Suman Manning, 42, from India
'Seven years of sheer joy' is how Indian mom Suman Manning sums up her motherhood. Her triplets - Zara, Zoe and Zander - are turning seven on April 20.
"It has been an incredible journey from day one. I am enjoying every moment of it, and I think the world's biggest happiness is to see all three of them growing up together," said Suman, who lives in Dubai. "The best thing about having triplets is that they don't have to look for friends elsewhere. It is like they wake up with their best friends every day. They share an incredible bond, and look out for each other wherever they go.
"When they grow into teenagers in a few years, they will be partners in crime. But as a parent, I know when they navigate the world as adults, they will never be alone."
But looking back, Suman, who is married to Australian Shane Manning, said like every young couple, they were also petrified to know they were going to have triplets.
"My husband almost fell off his chair. And I was just shocked. I have several twins in my family, and I also wanted to have one. But triplets were more than I had ever asked for."
But Suman was lucky to find a support group called Twinsplus Arabia that helps parents of multiple kids to cope. "It is a daunting space to be when you don't know what to do. But there were other parents who had been through it all, and I could learn from them."
And when the two founding members of the group left, Suman took over. "It is important that a mother is happy and enjoys her pregnancy. It can be quite crippling if a mother does not get support, especially when she has multiples. The aim of our group is to offer support and let the new parents feel that they can do it too," she said.
Currently the Dubai-based Twinsplus Arabia is a successful online network group of more than 1,200 families of multiples' parents. The members consist of 40 different nationalities coming from GCC countries and beyond.
"We are mostly a Facebook group where people post queries and ask for recommendations for anything from the good pediatricians to best sleep routines. We also do a lot of buying and selling of baby accessories and toys," said Suman.
There are mini-communities within the group, and members organise weekly three meetups in different residential communities in Dubai.
'Raising my trio is a 24-hour job'
"When one baby is sleeping, the second one is awake or the third one wants to be fed. It is a lot of juggling, and my husband is my biggest support. In the night, we take turns to take care of the babies."
Fida Adnan, 29, from Jordan
Fida Adnan from Jordan is celebrating her first Mother's Day today. Just under three weeks into delivering her triplets, the former private school teacher says now every day is going to be a Mother's Day for her.
"It really feels special now that I am also in this league. Just a couple of weeks into taking care of my babies, and I understand the sacrifices and pains my parents would have endured to bring me up," said Fida.
"My whole world revolves around Alia, and the two boys Bader and Amir. I have not slept in weeks, and it does not matter anymore.
"I never knew this is how motherhood would feel like."
Fida gave birth to the triplets at Medeor 24/7 Hospital in Abu Dhabi on March 2. Like most multiples, her triplets were also born premature at 32 weeks.
"At home, my mother-in-law is staying with us and she is teaching me everything from how to feed the babies, bathe them and change their soiled clothes. I also have a nanny for support," said Fida, who is married to Mohammed Bader, a fitness trainer in Abu Dhabi.
The young mother said she resigned from her job as a teacher to be a fulltime mother. "Now my priority is my babies. I definitely want to pursue a career but that can wait"
"This in itself is a 24-hour job. When one baby is sleeping, the second one is awake or the third one wants to be fed. It is a lot of juggling, and my husband is my biggest support. In the night, we take turns to take care of the babies. We cannot even have air-conditioners in the room, and we hardly get any sleep. But the best part is, both of us are enjoying the ride."
The biggest challenge for the couple now is to differentiate between identical twins Bader and Amir. "I have to tie different colours of bands on their legs so that I don't feed the same baby twice," said Fida.
She said she is already dreaming about her triplets running around the house and breaking things in a few years. "I don't know what to expect in the coming years.
"I will always share my love and care equally for all three. And I will sacrifice everything in the world to give them a good education and a decent life. One thing that motherhood teaches you is to be selfless and to love unconditionally," said Fida.
anjana@khaleejtimes.com

• UAE