It reiterated that pilgrims require a Haj visa and it can be obtained through recognised official channels
“Don’t be scared”
“It will be okay”
“Don’t worry”
“Go play with them. Don’t be shy”
“Just say no.”
I’ve said all of this and more to my son. I’ve thought worse.
I didn’t understand him. He was nothing like me. And it was frustrating. So I pushed him to do things with words I would later learn are sure-fire ways to push an anxious child over the edge.
Thankfully, he never complied. He would retreat further into himself when I pushed him. I saw signs of damage appear almost immediately. There was more fear, more anxiety… he would cry inconsolably if I so much as stood up. I didn’t know what I was doing wrong, till I finally did.
I had a highly sensitive child. He was textbook:
They’re perfectionists.
They figure out every permutation of how things could go wrong ahead of time, and become anxious to try anything new.
Their clothes and shoes have to be spotless.
They’re sensitive to textures and smells.
They’re deeply empathic, shy, gentle and prone to meltdowns.
I felt like bull in a China shop as I pushed my son to be ‘braver’. How could I make him rowdy, resilient and fearless?
Highly sensitive children are more of a ‘challenge’ to parent, they say. To me, having one was a blessing. I had to stop, look inward, slow down and learn to harness the spirit of this beautiful being.
So, how do you help a highly sensitive child?
Example: When they’re scared to go down a steep slide in the playground.
Take a deep breath, this is not about you.
See and validate their feelings
Say: “I see you’re scared. It’s okay to be scared.”
Don’t say: “It will be okay. Don’t be scared.”
DON’T PUSH THEM
Say: “You can go on the slide when you’re ready”
Don’t say: “It’s not scary at all, I promise.”
JUST BE THERE
Say: “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”
Your presence matters more than anything else.
A few months of putting this into practice and I saw my son transform. He was horseback riding, sliding down steep sand dunes on a snowboard, mingling fearlessly in crowds of children and doing it all without me saying a word.
I had simply stopped trying to make him me.
I had stopped projecting my anxiety onto him.
I had stopped pushing him in ways he wasn’t ready to be pushed yet.
He is still sensitive and sometimes prefers his own company to others’. There are days when he wants to stay home when I’m itching to be out. I let him be. The more I step back, the brighter his light shines.
Highly Sensitive Children are more ‘work’. But when nurtured and cherished, they become masters of their emotional worlds with a complete understanding of who they, and the people around them, truly are. In short, just the kind of people the world needs more of.
wknd@khaleejtimes.com
It reiterated that pilgrims require a Haj visa and it can be obtained through recognised official channels
The 18-year-old was taken to hospital in a serious condition
The brothers, who say they are innocent, are accused of having formed an organised criminal network in early 2021 in Romania, as well as in the US and Britain
The left-handed batter scored 3369 runs in 136 one-day internationals and 2893 in 140 Twenty20 internationals — both Pakistan records
Food supplies were distributed to 80 households
On January 31, a heart was airlifted from Delhi to Chennai, paving the way for Ayesha Rashid's life-saving surgery
The online retailer, which is headquartered in Singapore, has said it has around 108 million monthly active users in the 27-nation EU
The baby girl named Rouh, meaning Soul, suffered respiratory problems and a weak immune system, a doctor at the Emirati Hospital in Rafah said