Dear Therapist: I have fallen out with my best friend

By Dr Prateeksha Shetty

Published: Thu 13 May 2021, 5:18 PM

I’ve had a fallout with my best friend of many years. She complained that I don’t share what’s going on in my life with her, which is not true. I tell her most things but like to keep some things to myself and have a bit of privacy. She’s my closest friend but I still want my space. Am I wrong? Name Withheld



Dear Writer, it appears to me that your friend and you have different needs and expectations from this relationship. Your friend may believe that a ‘Best Friend’ must share all details of their lives with each other whereas you may like keeping few things to yourself (for your own reasons). Both of you are right as your needs are quite genuine and authentic. You can perhaps think about how much this friendship means to you and how much you are willing to compromise or bring your walls down in order to keep it going. Once you analyse and understand this, you can discuss it with your friend and hopefully, she will be able to compromise on her position too. It is not possible to have friends who are replicas of us and ultimately it is a matter of how much worth we assign to that relationship and what are negotiable limits for us.


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