Ask the therapist: I have an eating guilt

I think I have what is called an ‘eating guilt’. Never a lean woman, I have been on a weight loss journey for as long as I can remember, but have never lost weight significantly. This guilt makes me loathe myself. What should I do? — Sheena Mehta

Dear Sheena, I feel for you. Regardless of your weight, it is important for you to learn to love and accept yourself just as you are. Please do not fall into the trap of defining yourself through your weight. Think about all the attributes that make you who you are and all you have to offer to your friends, family and the world.

As a psychotherapist, I have worked with many people who struggle with their weight and are very unhappy about it. What I like to do is help individuals uncover the reasons they gain weight. There are many reasons people become heavy. For example, they might come from families where food was pushed on family members as a way to show love, or they discovered food for emotional comfort, or they might have become addicted to food. They possibly do not have good information on healthy eating and might not always read food labels. Or they have not found ways to easily integrate physical activity into their lives. What would make sense is for you to have a few counselling sessions to discover your underlying reasons, address these causes, and substitute unhealthy eating habits with healthier ones. If needed your counsellor will make a referral to other professionals, such as dietitians or medical doctors to help you with this problem.

Finally, I’m concerned for you to avoid diets that use deprivation to achieve weight loss. They do not succeed in the long run. Try to focus on a sustainable, healthy lifestyle and you should start to see results over time.

• Dubai