'I am using this month to explore myself'

Before I reverted, I had experienced Ramadan for the four previous years more as an observer.

I reverted to embrace Islam back in December 2017. Before this, I was, in part, exploring myself in terms of my beliefs. Through the conversations at the Islamic Centre, with my good friend Abu Adam, I began to understand how the beliefs of Islam reflected my own values. It has been a relief to find such a connection where it feels like you are part of a real community whereby you can share your experiences, with respect, with understanding, and with good people. This is still a learning experience for me and I am dedicated to learning more about Islam through the classes that I attend. Some days I feel stronger than others, but it is a journey that I enjoy, and willing to continue to explore. Perhaps I can continue to write about my general experiences at a later time.
Before I reverted, I had experienced Ramadan for the four previous years more as an observer. Even in this time, I saw how committed people were, there dedication and determination to make it through the day, each day, for the 30 days. During this time I myself would naturally restrict my intake of food and water, just out of the respect of those around me. What I find now is that Ramadan is one of the Five Pillars for us to follow, and it is the one we do specifically for Allah, to dedicate ourselves to understand the purity of life. This is to take us out of our normal lives, to allow us to reflect on the world around us, as well as reflected in ourselves and our connection with him.
I am using this Ramadan as a starting point to reflect on myself, by reading more of the Quran. I am trying to get into a routine by taking the last hour of the fast each day to read through passages, to understand more about the way of Islam, and the value it brings to our lives. As it is my first time of reading I am choosing to read its written order. I do wonder what will be my favourite parts or the parts that I will connect with the most.
In terms of my preparations for the actual fasting, for me, it has not been too difficult. I have had experiences in the past where I would only eat once a day when growing up, so I know my body can adapt quickly to this. 
My biggest concern has been the fasting from liquids. Throughout my life, I tend to suffer from dehydration whereby I would suffer from migraines. Taking advice from my friends, and people at the centre, I have managed to develop a plan of taking enough liquids throughout the night so it lessens the feeling of need throughout the day. 
saman@khaleejtimes.com 
(Darren Streete is a 39-year-old British national who came to the UAE two and a half years back. He works as an HR manager with a company in Dubai and embraced Islam in December 2017 at the Islamic Information Centre, Satwa.)

• UAE
• Ramadan 2021
• Dubai