Hard workers need hard hearts

Are you a survey type of person, the sort who goes by the fact that 82 per cent of respondents like Sudsy Cola, so must you, after all, that high a number cannot be wrong.
I don't usually go by surveys because they are largely depressing and always tell you negative stuff about your health, job or earning power.
Most times, I dread them, you know that person with pen and paper choosing you at a supermarket, or catching you on a  call; no one has yet learned how to get out of it without being rude. Then, once in a while, along comes the exception, enough to brighten your day and send the sun on a glide.
The longer the work hours you put in, the higher your chances of developing coronary heart disease (CHD) within 10 years, says an alarming study in the American Journal of Industrial Medicine. And aren't we all industrious, like little ants?
I knew it, I always suspected there was a deeper reason for my desire to goof off. I wanted to live longer. My affection for self-preservation being legendary even in school when I would not do my homework because I had this sixth sense that this would prolong my stay on the mortal coil.
Because it is such a nice and positive survey, it just does not get traction. They do not want you to figure out that you are shortening your life by working long hours.
All you lazy sods in office, now you have a real excuse to slouch off and not pull your weight. By working less, you will live more. Technically, of course, that means you will probably have the same output, only work that much longer to reach there. I can imagine many saying, wow, this is the sort of research we want, sound reason not to work, no need for excuses.
Why did you leave at 5pm instead of six?
Do the math, boss, that's 30 hours a month; 365 hours a year into 30 years is a heck of a lot of bonus days when the sands are running out.
Working more than a 40-hour week has already been linked to stress, dissatisfaction and compromised health. Dozens of scientific studies to confirm that but if this got out, imagine the convo between the HoD and the paymaster.
He tells the boss, "Cut the hours, let people goof off, they will have happier hearts and will skip to work and back with a lilt in their voices and a song in their hearts."
Boss says he's not ready for this heart-to-heart talk, go work. Told him it was a heartfelt request. He says, he was a hard-hearted boss, work was not for the fainthearted.
Broke everyone's heart, they were hoping for a three-day week, it was heart-rending to see.
Now, this research on 8,350 adults has found that being a workaholic may increase one's risk of developing CHD. There goes the last residue of sincerity.
Excuse me, Sir, I have to go, it is my down time.
So soon?
Yes, sir, this way you will have me for so many happy years more, a brighter longer future.  
I want you to meet the HR tomorrow morning at 8am ref your future.
Sir, I only come in at 9am.
"We found that those working 61-70 hours had a 42 per cent increased likelihood of developing coronary heart disease," said lead researcher Dr Yun-Chul Hong from the department of preventive medicine at the Seoul National University in South Korea. "Those working 71-80 hours had a 63 per cent increased likelihood while those working more than 80 hours ran a 94 per cent risk."
Dr Hong and team found that working hours were significantly related to the risk factors of CHD, such as blood pressure, cholesterol levels and smoking habits.
But just before you start putting up a statue to Dr Hong for this free pass, remember that his research also discovered that those who do not work over 30 hours a week and are always ducking their workload have higher cholesterol levels.
This means that compared with people who worked 31-40 hours a week, those who worked less than 30 hours a week tended to have a worse health status. Lazy lot.
Okay, so which one are you in terms of longevity?
bikram@khaleejtimes.com