Trust your partner, not housemaids

Ras Al Khaimah - Domestic helps caused 70 family disputes in Ras Al Khaimah, court finds.

If there are husbands and wives who think a domestic help is the 'best partner' in meeting your commitments at domestic front, beware you are playing with a double-edged sword.
Social Services Department of the Ras Al Khaimah Courts has revealed that 70 family disputes have been filed this year so far.
A senior official here told Khaleej Times that many wives, as per court records, totally depend on their housemaids on almost everything related to house affairs.
"This is not only limited to making food, cleaning the house, but also taking care of the kids and husband's affairs," said Jassim Mohammed Al Makki, Manager of Social Services Department with the RAK Courts.
"Many wives have neglected their houses and left them all together to their housemaids, and that ended in 70 family disputes this year."

This has become an issue that needs to be addressed immediately; otherwise the courts will be seeing more complicated family issues and divorce cases, he added.
"Many wives are now deeply involved in their jobs, running their own business, meeting friends and relatives, shopping, and going outdoors, as if they have no families to take care of."
Such irresponsible attitudes have had negative impact on the whole family, Makki said.
"As for husbands, they are now living a more bachelor life with no wives to take care of them or even have a chat with them," he said.
Makki reminded that a housemaid may never do the natural role of a mother, or give the same love, compassion, and warm feeling to all family members.
Makki said many women have also complained about their husbands for a number of reasons.
"These include husband's failure to fulfill family needs, staying out with friends for late hours, physical abuse, illicit love affairs and many other reasons." Official figures show that the department has spotted 1,782 reasons for 984 family disputes processed this year.

"Up to 242 of these cases - 26 per cent - have been settled in an amicable way against 320 - 32 per cent - which were closed, and 50 cases - five per cent - were heard by court."
Wafa Saqr, a teacher, said she could not help employing a housemaid to help her with housework.
"She only cleans the house and clothes, washes the dishes, and makes the food, but I take care of my two kids' education, and other affairs."
Dr M. M. or Umm Sara, a pharmacist and mother of four, said a housemaid is important but to some extent she would destabilise the whole house.
"I hired a domestic help to help me with everything because I used to work full time and stayed outdoors most of the day that I return home exhausted and had no time even to talk to my husband and kids."
The husband, also involved in his work, needed his wife to receive him and relief his pain, but that was not possible with his wife's too long hour job.
"I almost lost my husband who started hanging out with friends to find relief, and we used to shout at each other most of the time."
As for my kids, they have become introvert and have speech problems whereas their academic performance was so poor.
"As such, I decided to work only part time, and give some time to my husband and kids while the housemaid helped me with household chores."
Sherif Al Wakeel, a contractor, said a housemaid is a double-edged weapon.
"She can be useful if assigned to housework only, but she can never ever replace a wife who takes care of his children and help them with their study. She cannot give love as a mother."
Prasad Sreedharan, a social worker based in Ras Al Khaimah, told Khaleej Times that most of the families hire housemaids with the good intention to carry out household chores or to take care of their children in their absence at home.
"Many of the families are taking care of their housemaids in a very satisfactory manner, give them good food, salary and clothing."
Reports from media and social workers also says that the house maids are ill-treating the children as well, he added.
"Every person has to be careful while choosing a housemaid. When we bring in a housemaid from a foreign country we don't know about their social back ground, morality and culture. This can badly affect the children, emotionally, culturally, and even religiously."
A child who is brought up with the domestic servants will not have the real culture of their mother land, he said.
"I have a sincere request to all. If possible allow your children to live with you during their childhood and let them become a responsible citizen."
ahmedshaaban@khaleejtimes.com

• UAE
• Ras Al Khaimah