The Man City manager admits that the Premier League is shaping into a three-team race and that there can be no slip-ups
England, seeking to level the series at 2-2, are firmly in control of the final Test with two days to go, 382 runs ahead with two second-innings wickets left.
Australia toiled in the field at the Oval on the third day of the match on Saturday and were not helped by Paine's misjudgements.
Joe Denly, who went on to score 94, should have been out lbw to Mitchell Marsh when he was on 54 but Australia opted not to review the not-out decision.
Later on the skipper, who is the team's wicketkeeper, failed to review a not-out decision against Jos Buttler after an appeal for lbw, with replays showing Nathan Lyon's delivery would have hit the stumps.
Buttler, then on 19, went on to score 47.
"I'm getting it wrong," said a tetchy Paine. "I don't know what else to say. We're having a mare (nightmare). We've got it wrong."
"It's fast," he added. "It's a tough job as I've said throughout the whole Test series. I've got a new respect for umpiring, particularly in Test cricket because it's a hard job."
When asked what he could do about it, he said sarcastically that he would enrol in "umpiring school" when he returned home to Australia.
Paine said after his side's defeat in the third Test at Headingley that he would be putting someone else in charge of the team's reviews.
During the closing stages of that match, Lyon had a huge appeal for lbw against Ben Stokes but the England vice-captain was given not out and Australia could not challenge that verdict as they had used up all their reviews.
Their misery was compounded when replays revealed that Stokes would have been given out.
Paine said it was sometimes difficult to judge from behind the stumps, saying he was not sure where the ball hit Denly, for example.
The skipper said his team, guaranteed to retain the Ashes urn, still had a chance to win the series outright.
"The only thing that's been a bit upsetting this Test match is our catching and our referrals but that's not anything new," he added.
He described his top-scorer Steve Smith as a "freak" after he took a stunning diving slip catch late on to see the back of Chris Woakes.
"Cricketers like him, I think Stokes is the same, they're just in the contest and in the game all the time," he said.
"That's what makes great cricketers great because they're always in the contest, they're always aware of what's happening. It was a pretty special catch."
The Man City manager admits that the Premier League is shaping into a three-team race and that there can be no slip-ups
Established in 2009, the Mohamed bin Zayed (MBZ) fund has supported projects for conservation of species and subspecies across 170 countries
London and Indian cities were among the top five destinations, report shows
The book created by Emirati illustrator Mohammed Al Rais and based on a tale by Swiss author Kurt Blum, is set to capture the hearts of young readers with its delightful story of uniqueness and triumph
The idea of undergoing the procedure was 'mentally and emotionally draining', the longtime Abu Dhabi resident said, but doctors eased her worries
The ruins in the middle of Pantabangan Dam in Nueva Ecija province are a tourist draw, even as the region swelters in extreme heat
This covers traffic violations incurred until 2023
Friday's polling will be held for 88 of the total 543 seats in the lower house or Lok Sabha of Parliament with 160 million people eligible to vote