Why I'll go the distance for virtual travel

The best part? None of the famed Paris traffic, no rude tourists, no one trying to hustle you into buying rip-offs near the subway station.

While I am completely anti-technology in almost all spheres of life (I even go to the travel agent to get tickets done - and I always pay cash), there is one tech aspect I am looking forward to. Virtual travel. The sort of thing where you can sit back in your reclining chair in a climate-controlled room, with a tray of espresso shots by your side, maximise your computer screen, put on earphones (actually, wouldn't be a bad idea to have surround sound), and "visit", say, Paris.
You move from arrondissement to arrondissement, gape at the Eiffel Tower, count the number of artworks at the Louvre, analyse the latest collection at the Louis Vuitton store on Champs-Élysées, virtually check into Hotel Fouquet's Barriere (you know, the one directly facing the LV store), sail down the Seine. All the while, there's Edith Piaf singing in the backdrop. The best part? None of the famed Paris traffic, no rude tourists, no one trying to hustle you into buying rip-offs near the subway station.
It's a breeze: you're seeing sights, listening to sounds and sipping taste - from the comfort of your house (to make your olfactory sense part of the sensory experience, spritz a whiff of Boucheron or Cacheral or any of the French-sounding perfumes in the surrounding environs. plus you already have the smell of espresso).
There will be rounds of sputtering disbelief: how can you travel without borders, without passports, without GEOGRAPHY? My answer to that is: how can you shop without visiting a shop, and doing that entire touch-feel retail routine? Or Skype without actually being with the person? So yeah, I can virtually see virtual travel take shape. And I think I will welcome it. I'm supposed to be (non-virtually) travelling in a few hours' time, and I'm already beginning to dread the idea.
Right from packing - that I always, always, always keep till the last minute - to burglar-proofing my apartment (okay, I know I'm being slightly paranoid, but I do tend to go a bit over the top with securing windows), to calling for a taxi, swearing under my breath at the car-locked stretches looming ahead of me, the airport check-in, the ridiculously long lines, the perambulators being shoved in my face. It's a nightmare.
Then, there's the flight. Alas, it's not virtual. So I will need to stress over who will be sitting next to me. Would it be the couple with the infant (bless the child, but he/she will probably be wailing through the entire duration of the flight)? Or that rather leery-looking man who might be prone to behavioural lapses post-takeoff?
Or that lady who's already smiled at me a couple of times in the hope we can be neighbours in the aircraft - so she can tell me about her son-in-law's promotion at the workplace? I realise that, at times, travel (and by travel, I mean non-business travel, so don't get me wrong, I am not trying to downplay deal-clinching express corporate travel) is the means to an end.
The end is usually people - family and friends. You cannot replace people, no, not even with the help of Skype (I never Skype as a rule), so I know I need to push myself through the welter of confusion in order to get to a certain destination.
To meet people. It's worth it, even though, upon descent, my first 15 minutes (when I am hovering around an immigration counter or trying to unsuccessfully spot my luggage on the carousel) are spent muttering, "Gosh, I hate travelling!" several times over.
There are also the "perks" of travelling (and here, I am talking about the transitory verb, not the noun), like overspending at duty-free, fish and chips at the airport food court and getting to post "Feeling posh at the business class lounge" on Facebook while scrambling around for free wifi.
A friend, who called me a few days ago, told me, "Travel is so overrated". I may have agreed with him had it not been for the gentle tug of excitement that's overriding me even as I write this. I'm travelling tomorrow.
sushmita@khaleejtimes.com