Don't let rude people curb your enthusiasm

In spite of the festive season and bright lights, some people were dimming my enthusiasm with their behaviour. When doctors ask: ''What are you allergic to?'' For me, it's rudeness. I don’t understand why people are rude. Maybe it's because that negative trait doesn’t come to me naturally.

There are so many talks, classes and online content, on how to conduct ourselves, be respectful and polite, even when making our point. Companies spend so much time and resources on teaching such etiquette to their employees. Yet when I come across rude people, I feel maybe those classes and coaching were wasted on such people.

The first awful thing about rude people is that they make you feel awful about yourself. Whether it’s at work or in your personal life, they come up with insults, mockery and ill-timed comments that bring you to rock bottom in record time. Their rudeness is exhausting and becomes like a virus that batters your immune system. The sad thing about rudeness is that it has a real negative impact on performance.

Rude people tend to be extremely selfish. Their actions and behaviour are all aimed at taking care of themselves. Even when they appear to be interested in your wants and needs, it’s generally only to find a sneaky way to serve themselves. This erodes the trust that others have in them and earns them a reputation as snakes. They’re just selfish who get a free ride on the generosity and consideration of others.

A rude person disrespects and mocks other people’s beliefs. I’m not talking about being politically incorrect or making an off-colour joke. I’m talking about the kind of person who taunts you to your face and tries to make you feel unwelcome or even threatened for who you are.

One of the top characteristics of a rude person is that they find your vulnerabilities and then pick on them. If you’re insecure about your weight, they will openly or covertly make comments and insinuations about your weight. If they know that you have serious problems going on in your relationship, they will show off how happy they are in their relationship or offer you condescending advice.

One of the most common characteristics of rude people is that they treat others like dirt. Whether intentionally or not, they go around the world like it’s their personal footstool and everyone in it is just there to shine their boots. This attitude is especially harmful and hurtful if you’re a person who’s used to getting respect. And in this case, I was upset, being accustomed to being treated with respect.

One of the undeniable characteristics of rude people is that they always seem to be stressed about something. When they want something, the whole world stops and their field of vision narrows. They just want that thing and they will do anything including physically trample people to get it. One of the saddest things about rude people is their selfishness. They take and never give.

However, some selfishness is normal and healthy. You do have to look after yourself. But if you’re looking after yourself at the expense of everyone else, you’re getting it wrong. The most frustrating thing about some rude people is when they think they’re the boss. They never got handed the title and they have no reason to believe that. But they seem to think they’re in charge of your life with their every word and action.

“Rudeness is the weak man's imitation of strength.” says Eric Hoffer and I so agree. It's so nice when toxic people leave our lives; it’s like the trash took itself out.

- Shilpa Bhasin Mehra is an independent legal consultant based in Dubai