Dear Therapist: My husband is hiding things from me

Making sense of the world we inhabit

By Prateeksha Shetty

Published: Thu 6 Jan 2022, 7:33 PM

Whenever I notice my husband is hiding things from me, I feel nauseous. Like sick in my stomach. I don’t know why this happens. — Name Withheld

Dear Writer, the nausea description is anxiety. People have different anxiety or stress responses, some may report palpitations, others may experience feelings of being choked, while others may have gastric disturbances. It is important to understand any anxiety in context of when, where, with whom it occurs. What is it that you believe your husband is hiding from you? Is hiding things or lying a pattern that you have recognised in him? If yes, what does that mean to you? Do you dread that it will affect your relationship negatively or is it the simple fact that you are excluded from his circle of trust? Answers to these questions (among many related others) can help you understand what the dynamics are between the two of you and why that triggers your anxiety. I recommend that you also look for other things/people/situations in life that make you anxious; to explore the origin of such responses.

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