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The students' guide to dealing with bullying

There's an elephant in the room. Let's christen this one: feelings of young hearts. The little girl who wishes to play with aeroplanes and not dolls. The little boy who enjoys his time on the grounds more than in a library. The tiny humans who make our homes special have a lot to say and many times, as adults, we lead them to believe that they're not being heard or taken seriously.

As adults, we're busy providing for them, whilst chasing our own dreams. We have issues at work, which we bring home. They have issues at school, summer camp, playdates and more that we are quick to dismiss as tantrums of millennials. Now brace yourself for a peek into the mind of a young one:
He sits by himself on the bus to school
The other kids laugh and say he's not cool
They tease him and call him all kinds of names
Ugly, dumb, fool and what not
At lunch, they would steal whatever he brings
He was hated by all, each and every one
He didn't know what wrong he's done
But one thought that always remained with him
Was that his life was a worthless, little joke
There once lived a boy whose hair was bright red
He was bullied so much and now he's dead
Bullying is not a joke
Just thinking about this makes one choke
Just take a moment and think
These are just a few words from a hard-hitting poem penned by Sivadurga Adduri, a student at Leaders Private School, Sharjah. Whilst it is just one of the many contributions for the Creative Corner section of Young Times, it is also an invitation to start an important dialogue inspired by the young minds of the UAE.

Art imitates life and vice-versa. No wonder, amidst poetry dedicated towards love for unicorns and Nutella sit alarming words on the topic of sharing feelings - many leading up to the issue of bullying. "Speak up by jotting down your grievances and express them on blogs," suggests Harshinii Akula, a student from Our Own English High School, Al Warqa'a, Dubai.
Unfortunately, the prevalence of bullying in schools is not a new phenomenon. Just last month, the video of a boy being bullied on a school bus in Sharjah went viral. The incident was posted on social media and the seven children involved are currently facing charges of physically assaulting the students. As a country, we're always prepping to handle this social evil better.

Children can be safety school ambassadors for anti-bullying campaigns; the presence of counsellors at educational institutes is becoming the norm; robots could soon track down bullies; free anti-bullying guides are available for parents to download online; screening anti-bullying animated films are being encouraged. In May this year, the members of the Sharjah Youth Parliament even called for developing an Emirati app that could help youngsters and parents report bullying incidents in schools.

We too were bullied at school, called names or pushed aside when it was our turn to go on the swing. But kids today don't even have to be at a playdate to be made to feel small. They're being called names on social media. They're pouring their hearts out on Google Hangout, sometimes to friends, perhaps even to strangers. They feel left out the moment their name gets dropped off a WhatsApp group. How does a young adult handle the situation? The youngsters and experts who shared suggestions with Young Times seem to have the right idea.

"High school can be a competitive place. Don't get intimidated by those expressing their conflicting opinions. They stand by what they believe in and so should you," writes Michelle Almeida, a student at GEMS Modern Academy, Dubai.

The need of the hour is to open doors of expression for them - from memes to poems and artworks to apps. "Keep the communication lines open," suggests Rema Menon Vellat, director, Counselling Point Training and Development, Dubai. "Rather than freaking out when we hear of something out of the ordinary, as parents, caregivers and friends, we need to learn to listen. Tweens and teens tend to withdraw if we react dramatically."

The solution lies in awareness, shares another student. "Bullying is a severe crime. Why do some of us zip our mouths when we witness things like this? If we do not raise our voice against it, then it means that we are a part of that crime. A single person can also make a huge difference. In case you see anybody encountering bullying, then inform an adult at the earliest," writes Yavi Sharma, a student from Our Own English High School, Sharjah (Girls).

Devangana Aneesh, a student of Our Own English High School, Sharjah, believes in opening the way to dialogue. "Give warnings to those who bully others. In this way, we can give them time to rethink whether what they are doing is right or wrong. Inform every one of the side effects of bullying, which [may otherwise] create great problems in the future."

Most importantly, "Say 'no' like you mean it," writes Hiba Nafisa P, a student from Gems Our Own Indian School, Dubai.
Netflix's children category (India) has a section titled, Dealing With Feelings. It features LEGO Friends and Max & Ruby, amongst others, and seems like a step in the right direction. Age-appropriate feelings deserve age-appropriate care. A 10-year-old's concern about weight loss to secure a spot in a ballet performance needs attention just as much as an 11-year-old's worry about acne. What can stress out a 14-year-old? Scoring badly at a Math test, losing a favourite notebook or being unable to sit with the best friend on the ride back home. Perhaps, all of the above.

It's time to validate the feelings of these tiny humans as they deserve. Use the available tools to reach out to them. You may not be able to convince them you understand them wholly, but they'll begin to count you as someone who listens patiently without judgement.
editor@youngtimes.com