Don’t over-pamper your children

Dr Dhananjay (Jay) Datar

One day I read a news item that made me feel annoyed and a bit worried. It was reported that in Mumbai, youngsters from very rich backgrounds assemble every night during the weekend at pre-decided places with their expensive luxury sports cars and play dangerous racing games on the streets. They don’t care for other passing vehicles, pedestrians or even the disturbance caused to the residents living nearby.

In my opinion, the parents of these youngsters are the first to be blamed for their children’s irresponsible behaviour. They pamper their children; fulfil their every demand and over a period of time they become more obstinate. As they grow, they take their parents for granted.

The first step in any child’s upbringing is to make them disciplined and sociable. Some parents who have gone through a phase of poverty and frugality in the past and later acquired affluence often try to gift the best and most expensive things to their children. There is nothing wrong with it, but at the same time, they must inculcate moral values from an early age to make them sensible and law-abiding citizens of the future.

I remember an incident I overheard. A wealthy person got a call from the police station asking him who was driving his car on a particular date at midnight. The father enquired and replied that it was his son. The police summoned both to the station and informed them that their car had hit someone and the investigation was on. The father became more confused when his son firmly said that the car had neither gotten into an accident nor hit anyone.

The police then showed them video proof recorded on a smartphone. The clip showed a young boy unconscious in front of the car and other boys peeking over him from sides. The car’s number plate was clearly seen in the clip. The police told them that it was recorded by a woman who witnessed the incident and promptly forwarded the clip to the police.

When the father scolded his son and questioned him in-depth, he finally confessed that it was actually not an accident but a drama scene created by his group of friends to upload a video on social media for creating some fun and excitement. No one was really injured and the friend acting as injured was also safe. The father was shocked to hear this and the police became irritated.

The son was released only after submitting an apology statement to the authorities and the father was reprimanded with a stern warning. This is just an example to highlight other grim situations when lifestyle becomes ungoverned. Another important lesson to remember is that the concoction of wealth, ego and haughtiness always leads to an ethical downfall. Children get inspired by their parents and copy their behaviour. It is wise to adopt a simple lifestyle and not get blinded by wealth.