It is only a game

Dubai - The strategy was to let her win the first couple of points, lull her into that false state of confidence, and then cleave through her sorry little defence.

When you are young and lithe and bouncing with energy, your hand-eye coordination is well tuned and sharp. I was a pretty decent squash player and have the pewter mugs to prove it, but finally as the body creaked into antiquity I had to hang up the racquet as I did my gloves and I have a snub nose to prove I was good for five rounds.

So this grizzled athlete decided in a burst of not so incandescent genius to engage in a game of badminton. Having been roundly trounced by my daughter, I thought I would remove the dents from my crushed ego by taking on my wife. These days, courtesy Covid-19, we have a close relationship... and she the expression of a martyr to the cause reflecting a singular thought... if I had to stay cooped up 24/7 with someone, talk about getting the booby prize in the marital lucky dip. That pained, suffering look of ill-concealed agony silently saying you are no Richard Gere mister.

Yesterday, she told me that this forced confinement had revealed one fact...you really are genuinely boring. No wonder then that I was ready to fling gauntlets (or disposable rubber gloves) and wipe the court with her.

Strategy was to let her win the first couple of points, that being the gallant thing to do. Also, it would lull her into that false state of confidence, and then I could cleave through her sorry little defence. Boring huh, I shall show you boring. Just then a wicked little breeze sprung up going from my side to hers, thereby causing a total loss of control over the shuttlecock. It is a very delicate game and thanks to nature butting in she raced (wife) to a rather absurd 7-nil lead.

You better get on with it, dad, said my daughter unkindly, you are getting creamed.

It's the breeze, I said, that's why.

What breeze, she said, there is no breeze, it is so still not a leaf is moving.

Nine-love, said my wife. Okay, that's ten it was way out.

It was on the line, I yelped, that's not fair. See here your mother is cheating, she is so desperate to win.

And she said, you know what you are not only boring you are also a sore loser.

Next time, chess, less body movement.