Valentine's Day Special: Love through the eyes of a romantic couple

Nishat and Jasmine Bandali give us a peek into their charming lives

If Mills and Boon were to seek inspiration from real life, in Jasmine and Nishat Bandali, they would find a tale waiting to be told. Set in the backdrop of London, the story dates back to 1983. Jasmine and Nishat met at a community centre set up for East African Indian Muslims in the UK. Even though men and women would congregate separately, Nishat caught a glimpse of Jasmine, clad in an all-white dress, amid a flurry of people greeting each other, and found himself unable to take his gaze off her. Talk about love at first sight.
Belonging to a close-knit community meant that every step Nishat were to take hereon would have to be thought through. He got Jasmine's phone number (this was an era that predated the cellphone generation) and called her on her landline, mimicking voice of a young girl pretending to be Jasmine's friend. Once she picked up the phone and figured it was a young boy trying to win her attention, Jasmine first decided to hang up, but an earnestness in the stranger's voice convinced her otherwise. She decided to meet him. To keep their first date - back then, they could not even contemplate it was one - short and sweet, the duo bonded over ice cream. Finding comfort in each other's company, they decided to meet again. The 'dates' that followed saw them meeting over pizzas. Every Wednesday, when Nishat would play cricket, Jasmine would sneak into the nets to watch him rough it out.
The bond formed in those tender years made way for a relationship of a lifetime. Even though life and career took them to different places, Jasmine and Nishat realised they felt most emotionally secure when they were together. That realisation finally saw them exchange vows in 2004. This may sound like a Mills and Boon staple, but Nishat and Jasmine have lived every page of it. Together. "We were the children of the '80s. The values and principles then were very different. We have lived with those ideals," says Jasmine, who is an independent media professional.

Being 'children of the '80s' in the 2000s has not exactly been a cakewalk. Today, the idea of a dreamy romance, where you are swept off your feet, has been updated with a more practical notion of striking a work-life balance. Raising four children while striving for a career in a competitive market may be something of a Herculean task, but Nishat is not one to give up. "Whenever the going gets tough, one partner needs to have patience. In our case, it has been Jasmine. Also, you always need to revisit why you came together in the first place. The moment you remind yourself of that, you see the bigger picture," says Nishat, who is a real estate entrepreneur. Jasmine, on the other hand, understands that in a marriage one person's dreams need to be more adaptable for the relationship to have balance. "We have separate roles in the relationship. Nishat is the breadwinner and he takes that role seriously. But that has never stopped me from doing what I really want to do," says Jasmine.
Today, Jasmine and Nishat are parents to two teenagers - millennials, if you like - who have perhaps grown up seeing very different values at home and the world. In their parents, they have an example of a successful relationship, but are the sensibilities likely to clash? "We have imposed just one rule on them: talk to us about whatever is happening in your lives. We want them to be responsible," says Nishat. 
To those who do not belong to their world, Nishat and Jasmine may come across as rosy-eyed optimists. But their lives are as real as it is fantastic. To ensure that this balance is retained in their relationship, they follow their own couple rituals. For instance, a 'once-a-week date' is absolutely non-negotiable, as is Nishat's gesture of sending flowers out-of- the-blue to Jasmine.
For a couple celebrating togetherness every single day, isn't Valentine's Day yet another ritual? Jasmine nods in agreement. "It's a chance to spoil each other with a marked occasion. But every day is Valentine's Day." Word!

• People