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Published: Fri 31 Jul 2015, 1:40 PM

Last updated: Fri 31 Jul 2015, 3:42 PM

Best Letter
Dangerous Liaisons
A relationship between a parent and child is the earliest bond a person has with anyone.
A parent is the primary caretaker and a child should feel a strong sense of security in his or her home. Unfortunately, in this day and age, this is not always the case. Basically, no relationship can be taken for granted as being only positive and life-affirming - even the parent-child one. The article on toxic relationships (Are you in a toxic relationship? July 2) is so beautifully penned that I firmly believe that youngsters should read and share it.
Most of us are unaware of being in a parasitic relationship. We are usually blinded by the other person's charm, or the fear losing them.
The article clearly outlines key warning signs of being in a toxic relationship. We have all had experiences with friends or even family members who talk to us only when it is convenient for them and are never available when you need them. It is important that there is mutual respect between partners and that the lines of communication are open.
It is essential to distance oneself from negative people who bring out the worst in you, and hurt you in the process. As we age, we see things clearer and can reflect better on the situation. This awareness saves us a lot of negativity and heartache in the long run.
Ties that Choke
The article Are You in a Toxic Relationship? was interesting; more so because a lot of us have experienced toxic relationships in life, and have felt the need and the urge to move on - but haven't been able to.
At times, being "socially correct" plays havoc with our sensibilities, and limits our choices. And often, there is a still a lot of love that remains, despite the 'toxicity': so what does one do? It's a tough choice since the person at the other end is also someone we care about deeply and it's easier than done that we need to make a clean break and sort out our lives. However, full marks to those who have recognised the damage potential of these relationships and have been strong enough to stick to their choice of breaking away.
Abhilasha Tripathi, Sharjah
Shooting Stars
The first movie I watched with my fiancé was Student of the Year, and being a Karan Johar fan, my expectations were huge. But we came out laughing, thinking it was one of the silliest movies we'd ever seen. It was more about glamour and less about acting.
Later, watching movies like Highway, Badlapur, Humpty Sharma Ki Dulhania, and Ek Villain changed our minds about the newcomers in Student of the Year. To be given the right opportunities with a great script and impeccable direction is a blessing. Not everyone is a given a golden chance twice (First-time Lucky, Bollywood, July 24). Watching Esha Deol's career sink was surprising, given that both her parents were powerhouse entertainers and box office winners.
It can be safely said that a certain amount of luck and influence can go a long way. Star kids are fortunate to have their parents channel them to the right people and put them on the film industry map. Sonakshi Sinha has been criticised for her looks and weight, and not fitting the image of a mainstream Bollywood actress. However, being Shatrughan Sinha's daughter and having the right contacts gave her several opportunities to prove herself, and she's come a long way.
In effect, an actor cannot be judged by his or her first hit or flop. Ameesha Patel is an exam-ple - she skyrocketed to fame and success with her debut Kaho Naa. Pyaar Hai, but is a classic example of the rising star that soon faded.
Aparna Jeyaraman, by email
Lending a Hand
I love how the article "We're Definitely Changing Lives" (July 17) started with the line "volunteers get paid in six figures: S-M-I-L-E-S". Having had some experience in volunteering and giving back, I can honestly say that it is completely true.
A few years ago, I was asked to help out at an NGO that looks after orphans. I didn't know anything about volunteering at that point of time, and actually thought of it as a chore. But when I met the children over at the NGO, things changed. The children were incredibly energetic and full of life.
After spending an hour with those kids, I remember pulling out my checkbook and asking if I could donate money. The kind man at the NGO immediately replied, "We have money. What we need are people who are willing to give us their time."
That lesson still stays with me, and it's exactly why I think initiatives such as Takatof are to be applauded. The volunteers and team leaders are learning how to be generous, thoughtful and considerate. That is something no classroom in the world can teach.
Naina Sherif, by email


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