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Unwanted babies, wanted mothers

They are no one's babies. Abandoned and left to survive on others goodwill. Six such cases were reported this year alone.

Afkar Abdullah and Amira Agarib take a close look into the heart-wrenching practice

Khawlah Ashoori never knew she was abandoned and adopted by a family until she turned 18. The 24-year old, who lives in Sharjah, was shocked when told by her parents she wasn’t their biological child and that she was taken from a children’s shelter. “I never thought that I was born to parents out of wedlock....unknown parents who committed great sin by abandoning me. I thank God who sent me this family to love, and who care for me like real parents do.”

Ashoori admitted she was initially ashamed of the circumstances surrounding her birth, but gradually 
accepted the truth and pursued her education to find a job. She is now determined to contribute to the development of this country where she was born and raised.

“I would never hesitate to inform anyone who wishes to marry me about the truth of my birth. This is my destiny and it was not my fault to be abandoned.’’

Mothers abandoning their babies is nothing new, but it’s been happening often lately — six babies dumped by parents in two months in the hope they will find a good Samaritan, who will take them home. Two babies were abandoned at a mosque in Sharjah 
only three days ago during the rains which lashed the country, while the other four were found last month in other emirates.

Single women caught abandoning their illegitimate babies know they cannot obtain legal documents like birth certificates and passports in the UAE. Police said some of the mothers were forced to leave their kids under pressure from their partners.

Afaf Al Meri, Director-General of the Sharjah Social Service Department, said there were six abandoned children, including the two infants found during the rains at the Dar Al Aman Shelter run by his department awaiting adoption.

In Ajman, Colonel Sultan Al Nuami, Deputy Director of Police, said abandoned children were referred to hospitals because there are no care shelters in the emirate. He attributed the problem of unwanted babies to the many single men and women from various nationalities coming from different religions and backgrounds.

Ibrahim Al Awadi, an Emirati artist, agreed and said the phenomenon was on the rise due to the many bachelors and unmarried women from Asian countries coming for work here.

Al Nuami said in 90 per cent of the reported cases, mothers informed the police about the identity of the fathers.

In 10 per cent of cases, DNA tests are conducted to prove the identity of the fathers. Eighty per cent of cases involved housemaids, who usually involve in sexual relations without taking preventive medicines.

In Sharjah and Dubai, when a child is found, he or she is sent to a hospital, or care services, while police search for the parents. If the search proves futile, the infant is sent to the Department of Social Services.

Shaikh Maktoum bin Batti, Executive Director of Sharjah Society Development Authority, said, “We are currently cooperating with the Dubai Health Authority to provide care for children found abandoned. By the end of the year, we will have special shelters for these kids.’’

Temporary shelters now house 155 orphans, he said.

The Children’s Welfare Committee formed recently scrutinises applications for adoption and select prospective parents based on their social and economic status.

The age of the wife should not be less than 25 and not more than 45. The 
family should undertake that they will provide care to the children and the court should issue them a no-objection certificate (NOC)..

Huda Al Matorushi at the Ministry of Social Affairs said in some cases, the ministry had the right to give the child to unmarried, divorced or widowed women whose age was not less than 30, or more than 50.

The foster family has the right to give the first name, while the judge will give the father’s, family and tribe name. The documents issued to the child should not show that he or she is an illegitimate child.

Once adopted, the children will bear the name of the adopting father in all records.

Jasim Al Hamadi, Director of Child Protection Department at the Sharjah Social Services Department, explained that after a child was handed over to a family, social services staff would visit the child frequently. These visits can drop to once a year once the child has turned six.

During the follow up, if a problem is noticed in the care of the child, the adoption is cancelled, but if the child is in good hands, the family is allowed to renew the adoption contract.

But Um Abdul Rahman, who lives in Sharjah, said her adopted daughter Aysha was granted only a birth certificate. She claims that documentation for adoption was not completed in Aysha’s’s case.

Al Hamadi, however, said a special committee would now handle birth certificates and health cards for children given for adoption.

The Ministry of Interior will then issue the passports.

Dr. Mohammed Ibrahim Mansour, a professor of Social Science, felt telling adopted children the truth about their past was not a good idea. “I don’t prefer to inform the child about the truth of his or her life, as it may result in a negative reaction that can cause him or her to fear mingling in society.”

“A multicultural community is a quick way to easy sex and the problem is compounded with many bachelors around.”

Dr. Mamdouh Mukhtar, a psychiatrist, said children of unknown parents would always suffer inferiority complex and easily fall prey to depression and disappointment in life.

Islamic scholar Dr. Mohammed Sulaiman said Allah on many occasions called for Muslims to take care of orphans. “But adoption of a child has no legal effect in Shariah. One can adopt a child for his emotional and psychological satisfaction. He can treat him as his own son in the matters of love, affection and general behaviour.”

He said if a male child was adopted by a woman, she should observe hijab from him after he reaches the age of puberty.

An adopted child can marry a daughter of his new parents, because she is not his real sister.

All these rules are inferred from the principle laid down by the Holy Quran.

“And Allah did not make your adopted children your sons. That is only your words coming out from your tongues. And Allah says the truth and He guides you to the right path. Call them with reference to their (real) fathers. It is more just in the sight of Allah.” (Surah 33:V4)

Sulaiman said an adopted child could not inherit from his adoptive father. “But it is permissible, rather advisable, for him that he, in his lifetime, makes a will in favour of his adopted son. Through such a will, he can bequeath up to one-third of his property to his adopted child who cannot otherwise share his inheritance.”

NOBODY'S CHILDREN

February 1: Boy abandoned in Al Sahabah Mosque, Sharjah

February 7 : Three-month-old girl found abandoned at the Ajman Corniche

February 16: Newborn girl abandoned by parents found at a mosque in Dubai’s Naif area

February 14: Seven-day-old girl found abandoned at the door of a mosque in Jazeera Al Hamra area of Ras Al Khaimah

March 2: Two well-dressed baby boys, wrapped in blankets and placed in cardboard boxes, found at the entrance of a mosque in Sharjah

Legally speaking....

· According to UAE law, an abandoned child can gain citizenship based on Article 17 of 1972

· This was amended in1975 which says the abandoned child would be a UAE national

· A draft of 2009 law is in the process and will be submitted to the cabinet

· The draft law calls to establish shelters for kids and lays down conditions for alternative families and obligations of federal and local departments concerned

· Foster families should inform the children of their adopted status only after permission from the social affairs department

Adoption criteria

· The Children’s Welfare Committee scrutinises applications for adoption and select prospective ‘parents’ based on their social and economic status.

· The age of the wife should not be less than 25 and not more than 45 .The family should undertake that they will provide care to the children and the court should issue them a no-objection certificate (NOC).

· Only permanent UAE residents can adopt abandoned children.

· The Ministry of Social Affairs said in some cases, the ministry has the right to give the child to unmarried, divorced or widowed women whose age is not less than 30, or more than 50.

· The foster family has the right to give the first name, while the judge will give the father’s, family and tribe name.

· The documents issued to the child should not show that he or she is an illegitimate child.

· Once adopted, the children will bear the name of the adopting father in all records.

· After a child is handed over to a family, social services staff will visit the child frequently. These visits can drop to once a year until the child has turned six.

During the follow up, if a problem is noticed in the care of the child, the adoption is cancelled, but if the child is in good hands, the family is allowed to renew the adoption contract.

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