• Home
• /
• Opinion

It's a sweat, sweet world

WHAT would the world be without sweat? Sweet, of course, for all the women out there. 'Cos men sweat, women perspire and dancers just glow. For women it would mean a world of difference — they will no longer have to deal with the salty, torrential downpour from bushy eyebrows every time they hold their men's sticky mugs.

Sure is time for some Sweatox baby. The magic jab of Botox that keeps your body from springing a thousand unwanted leaks. In fact, take it a step further, recommend this amazing new scientific treatment to all your friends — sweatpots and brothers in perspiration — who have lost several good headstarts with the fair sex, because they were dripping more than just good-natured humour.

So who needs Sweatox? People looking for a job? They lose half their chances of landing the big one, simply because they are not ready for the land (or should we say, gland) of opportunities. Prospective employers like a good, firm handshake, not something that feels like an eel's wriggle in their dry palms. And let's not forget construction workers. They don't have to spout a stream every time the merciless golden ball in the sky threatens to burn the skin off their backs. Just imagine them, walking out of their sites, blue overalls and all, and looking like those hunky, window cleaners from Hollywood who have the ability to lather up any woman's imagination.

Dads for one wouldn't like the idea of getting a Sweatox job done. Most believe that all successful people, or let's just say the lucky ones, find their place in life, and society, by the sweat of their brow. Well, we would rather sweat inside our heads, than outside. And whether or not, we find our rightful place in society, we definitely want to find a sweet spot in our girlfriend's arms, don't we? The docs won't like it either — just the thought of all medical complications that could arise as a result of this treatment can send them scrambling for their medical manuals. Well then doc, we don't want to see you either — and for that all we need is an apple.