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A ge(r)m of an idea!

I have always admired the entrepreneurial type of chap. The kind who gets ideas and then goes on to implement them, come what may.

Me, I am content to sit and push paper. Or click my mouse. No business ambition rages within me. No fiercely competitive streak urges me to put one over the other bloke. No fire in my belly drives me to change the world. But of course, there is nothing to stop me from sharing thoughts with those of you who need nothing more than the merest germ of an idea to translate it into a commercially viable proposition. So here goes. Let’s see you tycoons turn these into a business empire.

Idea 1: The mini cigarette

Have you noticed that many smokers actually smoke very little? Very little of each cigarette, that is. It may be because they have forgotten to attend to something, or are needed elsewhere.

Maybe they are cutting down on smoking and hence, only take a few much needed puffs before tossing it away. I also rather fancy that many smokers smoke the whole cigarette only because it is there. The real need is for much less. So, think about what a good market there would be for a 2-inch cigarette at say, half the price!

Idea 2: The underwear topped jeans

You know how teenagers simply love to display their underwear by wearing their jeans so low, you wonder what keeps them up. Their parents hate it. So here’s an idea that will keep both sides happy. Let’s have jeans which have an underwear design at the top. Maybe they can even have a choice of name, to make it more customer friendly. Like Wrangler jeans with a Calvin Klein underwear on top, and so on. That way, kids can have their cake and eat it too. They can simultaneously wear their jeans display underwear and keep their parents at bay. Likewise, their folks can breathe easy in the secure knowledge that the real thing is safely hidden where it should be i.e. underneath.

Idea 3: The blue coloured car sponge ‘thingy’

I don’t know what that is called, but you know what I mean; that spongy blue stuff that an increasing number of cars in the UAE have on their sides. I assume they exist in order to prevent cars from getting scratched; or at least, to reduce the impact.

I have no problems with that. What bugs me is that blue colour. It stands out conspicuously and brings down the car’s looks by several notches. So, here’s my suggestion. Make those things in different colours – white, black, blue, red — to suit the car.

Idea 4: The music sensor

I wonder if you are one of those guys who keep fiddling around with the FM music stations whenever you happen to be driving a car. If so, you must have frequently screamed in frustration at having each of the stations being hogged by the RJ who just can’t seem to stop talking, while music gets relegated to the background.

So, hey, how about a little simple, techy sensor thing in car audio systems that can be programmed to switch to some other music playing channel the moment someone starts talking (or worse, giggling).

Idea 5: The conveyor ‘bench’

If you have personally visited government offices, you’ll know what I am talking about. In some of these places, people queue up, not by standing in a line, but sitting on long benches which are placed one behind another. Every time someone leaves his spot on the first bench to go to the counter, every other person sitting has to move his some ten inches to where the previous guy in the queue was sitting (or to the last position on the bench in front). So, one person gets off and tens or hundreds of others shift positions. Imagine! The person who is fiftieth in the queue and is say, sitting at the right extreme on the fifth bench, will have to shift 27 times to the left, 18 times to the right and 4 times forward before his turn comes! It is one of the dumbest, bummest things I have come across, though, of course, it’s not without its funny side. If these offices won’t switch to a simple token system, will someone please invent a contraption that will move automatically every time it senses that the first person has got off.

Now, I shall sit back and await your business success. And my er …. royalty.

P. G. Bhaskar is a Dubai based banker