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A young man avoids eye contact with relatives at a family function. His father quietly instructed him to say that he is studying to be a doctor, and not mention anything about being a certified nurse.
Another man is meeting with his manager, anticipating derision and mockery when he mentions he needs to reduce his workload to accommodate the birth of his first child.
A third man walks with his female friend, as a passer-by makes an unnecessary comment. The woman quickly glances at her friend, expecting him to assert aggression towards the inappropriate passer-by, and mocks him endlessly when he doesn’t.
These aren’t just stereotypes of men.
They are real experiences faced by people.
Traditional masculinity centres around a set of ideas and beliefs that we, as a society, hold about what it means to be a man. These include identifying men as self-reliant, emotionally stoic, physically assertive/aggressive, focused on work over family, among other things.
It’s when these beliefs are taken to an extreme level, that they could result in poor outcomes for men like being dissatisfied in romantic relationships, commitment phobia, having mental health problems, and engaging in more risky behaviours.
I had come across rather alarming statistics about depression and anxiety in men globally while researching on one of my previous pieces. And I feel it’s necessary to spark conversation on these issues, especially for the next generation. The ‘No-Shave November’ or ‘Movember’ movement started in 2003 when two Australian men drew inspiration from the brave efforts of a friend’s mother who was fundraising for breast cancer. They decided to raise awareness towards men’s health, and grew moustaches as a symbol of this movement. Since then, the campaign has initiated awareness and necessary conversations about physical and mental health concerns in men.
According to studies, men are twice as likely to feel financial burden in a relationship even its a dual income relationship, and twice as likely to report feeling the pressure to ‘take charge’ in a crisis, since these have been ‘traditionally’ seen as men’s roles. Also, seven out of 10 adults are reported to have claimed that it’s important for a man to support his family financially to be considered a good partner.
Though significant progress has been made in advancing gender equity in the past century, we still hold on to traditional gender roles, and this is likely to have a range of harmful effects especially for young people. It’s time we look at the biases we carry, and how these affect the world around us.
And we can start in our own lives:
• Be mindful of the language you use, especially around young people.
• Be part of creating and spreading awareness about the harm of traditional gender roles.
• Create a bias-free environment at home.
• Communication is crucial. Encourage men/ boys to talk about their feelings and worries.
• Help boys to understand that it isn’t necessary to adhere to any specific archetypes, just because that has been the standard so far.
• Practise inclusion.
• Create a new story for the generations to come.
wknd@khaleejtimes.com
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