Earlier, interest-free loans were announced for Emiratis whose businesses were affected by the rains, with a grace period of 6 to 12 months
uae5 hours ago
Today, our world is getting smaller, we have more choices, faced with a multitude of different value systems and may struggle to understand the sometimes ambiguous and complex tenets of relationships, leading to a sea of misunderstandings. A certain amount of conflict is necessary of course, since those discussions, arguments and debates result in the two individuals becoming closer and having a greater understanding of one another.
A much more subtle form of abuse, yet equally damaging and devastating to one’s health, results from a disorder referred to as passive-aggressive personality type. Here, the passive aggressive individual does not like confrontations and will deal with tension and conflict in an under handed, unhelpful and indirect way, without addressing the issue or communicating their feelings to their partner.
As Dr. Hall-Flavin explains, people who are passive-aggressive appear to agree with the requests of others and may even seem enthusiastic. But they don’t perform a requested action on time or in a useful way, and may even work against it. Therefore they use non-verbal behaviour to express anger or resentment that they can’t express verbally, leaving the people around them feeling confused, angry, frustrated and lost.
A typical scenario demonstrating the passive aggressive personality type would be, for example, a husband who is supposed to come home at 6pm to take his wife to a recent course she signed up for. He doesn’t show up till 8pm and can’t be reached on the phone. Upon arrival, he explains that his car broke down, couldn’t get assistance and left his phone at the office by mistake. All these excuses seem quite reasonable and this situation could happen to any of us, right? There’s just one problem; the real reason for the partners tardiness isn’t because of the car breaking down, it’s because he doesn’t like his wife attending the course so he handles the situation in an indirect way, interrupting her chances of growth, yet still trying to save his image of an understanding husband. When asked repeatedly if he did it on purpose, he denies it till his last breath.
The causes are still unknown however we know that a combination of genetic and environmental factors are probably responsible. The DSM IV (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) describes some symptoms of the passive-aggressive personality as including:
The biggest challenge for these individuals is that they are not very sensitive and lack insight or self-awareness therefore they will rarely admit to having a problem. Forcing them to get help will just perpetuate their untrue ideas about others hating them, wanting to set them up for failure, or that they are just jealous.
Usually what happens is that after many years of frustration and pain, people who suffer from a passive aggressive personality disorder will be abandoned by friends and loved ones who simply do not have the tolerance anymore for their unfulfilled promises, waterfall of love and attention after a huge argument and denying wrongdoing or underhanded and deceitful ways. It is during this time, sadly often too late, when the affected person reaches out for help.
What needs to be considered very carefully here is that the symptoms shouldn’t be dealt with initially, instead the source of anger that drives the individual needs to be discovered and understood. Recovery is only possible when the underlying reasons have been fully explored and admitted.
Samineh I Shaheem is an author, an assistant professor of psychology, currently lecturing in Dubai, as well as a cross cultural consultant at the Human Relations Institute. She has appeared on numerous radio programs and conferences and has studied and worked in different parts of the world, including the United Sates of America, UK, Netherlands, and the UAE. Please forward your thoughts to OutOfMindContact@gmail.com
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