Life's big annoyances

By Bikram Vohra

Published: Thu 11 Jan 2018, 11:00 PM

Last updated: Fri 12 Jan 2018, 1:00 AM

Don't you get truly annoyed by some things and some people?
Folks who threaten to tell a very funny joke and then lose their way halfway, and start again.
Friends who get up and leave the room or walk around on some errand when you are in the middle of a sentence, saying, carry on, don't mind me, I am listening or, worse, they begin to make mobile phone calls.
People who dart in at the very last second and take your parking space.
Wives who are always right.
Driving with your wife and having her tell you to slow down, watch the car, stop, be careful until you want to scream.
Bosses who love the sound of their own voices.
People who avoid you when you arrive in their town because now they don't want to recognise that old expat friendship.
Getting a call from the credit card lady telling you to pay now or else.
People who spill cigarette ash in teacups (yours) or throw butts in flower pots (yours) and wipe their hands on curtains (also yours).
Folks who talk across you in a language they know you cannot understand and that is bad enough, except what is worse is when you know they are talking about you and it is not flattering, that is for sure. And the others have that silly expression as they try to pretend innocence.
Those in lifts who won't stop it for you as you rush up, and zoom off with that smug grin on their faces and you miss it by 1.4 seconds, thanks to them.
People who give up smoking and tell you how they did it and those who gave up smoking and then started again and tell you about that. No wonder you can't give up.
Guests who think it's fashionable to be late and don't even say how sorry they are, and they bring two strangers with them.
Women who pour perfume rather than spray it and then leave that cloying stuff on the telephone and the glasses and the crockery and everywhere they go.
Visitors to the office who try to read your documents and letters upside down because they cannot help being curious. And you have to then cover up the document with a file.
The types who walk into your office, see you are busy and ask, busy? Then they promise to stay for a minute and stay an hour.
Strangers and relatives who ask you how much you earn. Where do they get off being so personal?
Folks who want you to love their animals and sic them on you telling you not to worry, he won't do anything, he just likes growling.
People who come over and expect you to drop them back.
People who notice your new decor, furniture, hairstyle, dress, whatever and say that's nice... but... There's always that 'but'.
Those travellers who try to read the paper you are reading from behind you.
Couples who fight in public and then co-opt you into it by asking you to play interference.
People who cannot listen to music without fiddling and adjusting the buttons on the control panel every few seconds.
People who insist on telling you how much everything they buy costs.
People who hit their teeth with their nail. Make those slushy sounds when they eat. Sniff suck at a cavity. Scratch.
Those who don't remember your name - and you remember theirs.
People who constantly put you down. Did you buy this at a sale? Is this an imitation? Did you travel economy? You must have gone in the off season.
Sports who say the ball was out when it was in by six inches or ask for a let when there was no justification.
Counter clerks at supermarkets who think they are doing you a favour by serving you.
wknd@khaleejtimes.com