City Unwind

Movie Mania

Alpha Dog (2006)

Starring: Emile Hirsch, Justin Timberlake, Bruce Willis, Shawn Hatosy, Olivia Wilde and Sharon Stone.

LOS ANGELES, PARTIES, drugs, disaffected youth, a crime gone wrong — all fairly staple ingredients in your run-of-the-mill Hollywood movie.

But Alpha Dog rises far above the sum of its parts, thanks to a refreshingly complex dynamic between its central characters.

Based on a true story, the plot revolves around the kidnapping of 16-year-old Zack by young drug dealer Johnny Truelove and his cronies.

Zack’s older brother owes Johnny a $1,200 drug debt, but is trying his very best to avoid paying up. While driving, Truelove’s gang chance upon the teenager and bundle him into their van as leverage.

Zack is unfazed by the events, striking up a rapport with several of his captors while he hangs out with them. He even gains the attentions of a young woman — deciding he’s having too much fun to return home when given the chance.

However, the seemingly benign situation takes a dramatic turn for the worse when it transpires that Johnny could go to prison for 25 years for kidnapping.

Despite his bond with young Zack, Johnny begins to contemplate murdering him as the net quickly tightens around him.

Strong performances and a tight script give Alpha Dog a gritty and often claustrophobic feel, as the gang grapple between doing the right thing and worming their way out of a tangled predicament.

Love Connection

Matthew Perry & Dannii Minogue

LIKE THE MUCH loved Chandler Bing, Matthew Perry has had a rather torrid time with the ladies.

Just days away from 40, the Friends star has still yet to settle down into wedded bliss or fatherhood. We think he needs a woman who is ambitious, sexy and with a discerning eye.

Step forward X-Factor judge Dannii Minogue — a wily fox with her head screwed on straight, Kylie’s younger sister could tempt any man away from perennial bachelorhood.

While she has never settled down either — dating the likes of F1 driver Jacques Villeneuve and ex-Bros star Craig Logan — we think Dannii needs a funny guy to thaw away her sometimes frosty persona.

And, if the Aussie and the American do meet, Dannii might finally exclaim This Is It! once more. (That’s a reference to a song of hers. Never heard it? Darn…)

Mole of the Emirates

Overheard from conversations around Dubai this week…

“No one ever bought me a pet monkey.”

“I have warm genes.”

“Do you know what weaselling is?”

“I gave birth to Herbert in the back of a taxi.”

YouTube Giggles

Chad Vader — Day Shift Manager

HAVE YOU EVER wondered whether Darth Vader had any siblings?

Well it turns out he does – the rather less successful Chad Vader, who works as a manager in a medium-size American supermarket.

Created by Blame Society Films, this is the first in what has become a hugely popular series following Chad’s humdrum life — fighting with the night manager, trying to deal with insolent staff and plucking up the courage to ask a colleague out on a date.

“You have failed me for the last time,” he threatens one disgruntled worker.

“That’s what you said the last time,” comes the nonplussed reply.

To see the clip, visit www.youtube.com and type ‘Chad Vader Day Shift Manager’ into the search box.

Celebrity Anagram:

Helena Bonham Carter

No Real Charm Beneath

Celeb Trivia

DUBBED “THE NEW Eminem”, white rapper Asher Roth has been raking in the plaudits while his debut album Asleep in the Bread Aisle has been rattling off shelves.

Bread Aisle, which includes a track called As I Em detailing the constant comparisons with Slim Shady, reached number five in the American charts on its releaseing in April. Meanwhile, lead single I Love College was also a huge hit — detailing the madness of university life up and down the land.

However, the 24-year-old was a hair’s breadth from quitting music altogether when he received the call he had been waiting for.

Or, more accurately, his friend received a call from Scooter Braun, a noted record producer, who found his contact details on an Asher Roth Facebook fan page. “No one had ever called the number,” Roth recounted during an interview on Last Call with Carson Daly, “[I had] like six friends on there”.

Believing the deep-voiced caller to be a policeman enquiring about noise violations, his friend hung up on Braun. However, after the producer called back, Roth came to the phone.

“This is the day I was going to quit rap,” he later insisted. Instead, after a few initial discussions with industry figures, he was unknowingly brought before Jay-Z and asked to deliver a performance on the spot.

Impressing the rap mogul, he has since taken Braun as his manager, and even won praise from Eminem himself. “He’s doing his own thing,” said the veteran. “I can respect it too, because at the end of the day, I think he’s dope.”

Just for Laughs

WHAT’S BLACK AND white and eats like a horse?

A zebra.

A MAN GOES to the doctor with a strawberry growing out of his head.

“It just grew from nowhere!” says the exasperated man. “What can I do doc?”

The doctor scratches his forehead for a minute. “I’ll give you some cream to put on it,” he replies.

Quote Hanger

“I found there was only one way to look thin — hang out with fat people.”

(American funnyman Rodney Dangerfield)