Yours, mine and ours

The bond grandparents have with their grandkids is on a whole other level. Bikram Vohra examines the emotion with his humorous touch

All these years, we've laughed at people who never miss an opportunity to show off pictures of their grandchildren. Silly folks. Where do they get off? We have warmly congratulated ourselves on being restrained. When we have them, we told each other, we shall refrain from inflicting this imposition on others. It is such a pain to enthuse, why do sensible people do it? And you have to then go through that mandatory clucking and oohing and ahhing and it is such an imposition.
Now, we have four. Grandchildren. We take 200 shots a day on average. We have them crying, eating, sleeping (the little angels), sitting on the potty, saying 'waaaah', crawling, swimming; we have them on video, on audio and the oldest one's school play this year was given the sort of treatment that would make Danny Boyle feel challenged.

The other day, an A380 pilot friend of ours came over and he watched the youngest grandchild on the iPhone screen hitting a baby piano while she played two feet away from him. Awesome, he said, she looks just like her pictures, which was an astute observation. He also got a ringside view of my wife's artistically-made cinematic collage of the five-year-old girl doing somersaults in slow motion.

Then we showed him the oldest one singing 'Twinkle, twinkle', followed by a rendition from the grandson of a medley sung to perfection. The oldest then rounded off with a demo of her taekwondo class.

My wife said, but we haven't shown you the kids in the park, it is super, you will love it. He said he was sure he would. So, we showed him the kids frolicking there and still had one of them playing with a Lego set and making a castle that would have pleased Henry VIII and the one ideal for YouTube, where they make a 100-piece puzzle, which is evidence of their high IQs, but he suddenly realised he had to take a flight to Hong Kong and was running late. Tough life these pilots have, they miss out on so many good things. He was really enjoying himself.

Promised that next time around, we would also show him the grandkids taking swimming lessons but he seems to be very busy, because he hasn't yet taken up the offer.

Thanks to our phones, we can carry scores of pix to parties, to picnics, in waiting rooms and share it with people we know... and do not know. Not that we do this, forbid the thought of imposing on people, but if people are so eager to see them, we should be ready and willing.

Every time we call him, he is either on a flight or in some exotic country and we know he is feeling terrible, missing out on all the fun and it is very odd that whenever we do get him on the line, he has to regret his inability to come. I have suggested we send him some of the latest footage on WhatsApp, so he can enjoy watching on these long flights when the plane is on autopilot, but he says he does not use WhatsApp.

Far be it for us to push it and so what we did was make a 20-minute film with the 'Best of.' from Naya, Kai, Sitara and Amaara, and delivered it to him and his lovely wife but there has been no reply. Funny.

Thank goodness we hold back and do not impose like so many cloying grandparents. You cannot believe how annoying doting grandparents can be. The other day, I was on a plane and this guy started showing me his grandchildren's portfolio. Why do people do that? Why would I want to see your grandkids when I have mine?
wknd@khaleejtimes.com