There is a kind of hush

When the fates throw a wrench in your works and you discover the sun has slipped a little, the first thing you realise is that not everyone you broke bread with is going to be there for you.
You took it for granted and your disappointment is misplaced because the assumption was yours that these bonds were so powerful.

This is a slippery slope because you begin to find yourself falling into the trap. They didn't check once. Not even a WhatsApp message. One phone call wouldn't have hurt. We are supposed to be friends, we are supposed to be close, I cannot believe their arrogance and indifference. They know what we are going through. And because your guard is down and your defences already breached, you begin to wallow in self-pity and loathing. Maybe they had their own compulsions. Some of them might have thought you might sponge off them, ask for a big favour. Others may have intended to make that call, send that message and then it just got so delayed that it fell off the radar. And once that bus has gone, it does not come around again. Okay, maybe a couple of them are too wrapped up in their own self-importance, their wealth and power beaming them up to another planet from where they can look down at mere mortals. But why, in moments of adversity, do you and I seek the leaking shelter of negativity?

Some time back, I was sliding down this path, making my mental hit list, almost enjoying my outrage and even anguish at the lack of interest in my situation from certain quarters and that little voice that is inside all of us and we seldom listen to it, that voice of reason and sense, it said, hey, why on earth are you wasting energy on the inconsequential, how many times have you gone beyond token words and unfulfilled promises to others and not done what you should have. Do not even bring it up, it is luxury you do not need, that of showing your bruised feelings. to what conclusion. You think because you make a cutting remark or a scathing comment, things will change? Let it go and take a ride on the cosmic train of the positives.

Like the friend who flew in from Germany for a day just to add a little solidarity and make you feel good. The one-time corporate partner in Dubai who hasn't spoken to you more than 15 minutes in 15 years and calling three times a day for any update. The gang who drove down from Cambridge in pouring rain to spend a few hours with you to cheer you up. Old buddies who thought nothing of driving 50km every night because they are friends, even missing a Chelsea match. what greater sacrifice! That relative in Mumbai whom you never meet or contact now sending daily benediction and concern, the cousin in Delhi who made it a mission to network for you and your brother who turned into solid rock, the fam members who dropped everything from their agenda and flew in to be there and push the sun up a little. The relatives in situ who pulled out all stops. The almost strangers who simply said, we are here for you, just ask. The lady we never met but who sent a car and driver as a gift to take us to see 'Hamilton' and take our minds off things. My daughter's school classmate, her colleague from the USA, presenting themselves like genies from a bottle.

The crew of Emirates whose grace and courtesy and sensitivity was disarming and unobtrusive. The patience and cheerfulness when we changed bookings half a dozen times.

Then the 'little' people, the ones who work for you unseen, often unrecognised, but so strong in their presence now that you need them, unquestioning in their efforts to help. The messages, the prayers, the flowers and the cards and the laughter and the warmth they bring with them because they want nothing in return, there's nothing you can give them, they're just there in spirit, because somewhere in the past, forgotten and unrecorded, you made a kind gesture, extended a helping hand, said something nice, maybe even did a decent deed. The boys from a Delhi slum engaging in a special prayer meet just for you.
And here you are, you cretin, daring to worry about some guy or two or three or ten who didn't call. Why? Because he or she is powerful and affluent and has the right address. Would it bother you that much if they were just ordinary people? Just that ordinary people are wonderful, you are the unseeing one who didn't notice it till the chips were down.

This is the richness, this tapestry of human beings, good people, who stand by you and with you, and ask for nothing in return. Truth be told, so much of this great, genuine wealth we take for granted and fail to acknowledge.

God forbid, you ever are in a tenuous position and lost in a wilderness that happens to other people and not to you until it happens to you and asking the lord why me, why us, take heart that you are not alone. Listen to the voice from inside, just do not look for support in all the wrong places. And avoid the slippery slope of judgement.
wknd@khaleejtimes.com