Give me back yesterday

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Published: Fri 10 Apr 2020, 12:00 AM

Last updated: Mon 27 Jul 2020, 2:07 PM

No one told us that in our lifetimes the world would be turned upside down. That we would have to confront ourselves in the mirror of truth and realise how selfish and short-sighted we have been.
Today, with uncertainty slapping us in the face and no idea what the turn of the road will bring, how must we regret the loss of time, the things we took for granted, the pettiness of our silly ego wars, thirst for more (and I don't mean soup), the breathless collection of status symbols, never-ending saga in one-upping the competition, and thinking you are the envy of others.
Covid-19 has made sure you are not. No one cares if you are rich or poor; it has levelled the playing field. If anything, there is so much regret at things not done, expressions unsaid, promises unkept.
Now, we sit here, afraid to measure our past and its texture, but eager to give life new meaning, if only this wretched virus would go.
We had found it so difficult to enjoy little pleasures, the fun things we used to do before we earned a bit of money and painted ourselves with a splash of so-called worldliness. And that worldliness has collapsed like a house of cards and all we can do is sit by helplessly and wonder what the new normal will be. and when it will come.
What we would give at this moment to go back and 'respect' those simple things. Like a spot of gardening, having a haircut, getting your hair done, having a pound party, buying seconds from a garage sale, playing with children in the park, having a barbeque, taking a drive or a water cruise, receiving friends at airports, hugging loved ones, sharing a coffee, licking an ice cream cone on the boardwalk.
How I long for a return to the spontaneous interest in everyday things. To think I had allowed my senses to be dulled by the banality of everyday life. Give me that banality back, the simple nothingness of staying home because I want to, not because I have to.
And then one gets so homesick. I am on the phone to my sister in Delhi and suddenly overwhelmed by a torrent of nostalgia. The dirt, the smells, the phone that won't work, the traffic jam, the queues, are all part of life at home, a life that not so many years ago was so easy to critique. Now I cannot even reach out and touch it. If I ever get the old world back, I will not waste a single moment in being small or envious.
So often I see ripples of embarrassment in folks who believed they had overtaken their roots. In fact, the only ones more tiresome than Gulf expats on home leave are those from the UK and US, with their foreign passport status and their phony accents and their shrill indignation because things don't work.
Today, there would be such humility, Mum and Dad, I just want to come home, I'll even love the heat and dust.
bikram@khaleejtimes.com

By Bikram Vohra

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