'I always wanted to be invisible': Anees Salim

Delving into the darkest alleys of small-town India, Anees Salim tells stories that are not always for the faint-hearted. He talks about his evolution as a writer and how rejection aided that process

Winner of the prestigious Sahitya Akademi award for his novel The Blind Lady's Descendants (a dark tale of a young man's journey through life), Anees Salim is a name that has begun to make its presence felt rather strongly in the Indian literary circles. His novels - he has written about five of them thus far - are an exploration of small-town India and how individuals navigate their way through it. On the personal front, Salim has also acquired a reputation of being a recluse who is rarely seen at literary events. In an interview, he talks about his process, of which solitude is an important part.
Tell us about your formative years.
I grew up in Varkala, which is a small town in Kerala and has a beach, which was the only good thing about it. There was no television or Internet, and I had no friends. I felt as though I was living in a hole. School was a disappointment too. So, I wanted to escape from it altogether. Then I considered writing. My father used to read a lot; we had a very good library. I would read non-stop and then I began writing. I was 16 then, and I am sure the material would have been highly unreadable (laughs). Then, I started travelling at the age of 21-22, and a whole new world opened up.
The Blind Lady's Descendants is an extended suicide note. There are also undercurrents of communal tension in Vanity Bagh. Would it be incorrect to say that you're more drawn to fatalism? 
I was born with it. Vanity Bagh is also humorous. I have often seen people struggle and survive tragedies. I think I am easily pained. Maybe that's why my books are dark. But I don't do that on purpose. Most of the books have autobiographical elements - which means there is a bit of me in every story. Growing up, I had a really difficult relationship with my father; he wanted to be a writer himself but couldn't be one. I see him as a failed writer. So, when I told my family that I want to be a writer, my father saw himself in me - a failed writer. Naturally, we never saw eye to eye. I don't remember speaking to him more than half a dozen times. Perhaps the element of darkness also comes from this.
You have often spoken about the numerous rejections you had to face. What did those early rejections teach you?
Each rejection was painful. I thought I was finished every time my manuscript got rejected. And yet, I kept on writing. After a few rejections, I decided not to write again. I did not write for six or seven months and then an image came to my mind, that of a man in his 60s who was feeling bad about not writing. In retrospect, rejection strengthened me and made me a slightly better writer. I had begun to think that the world held something against me, I am not well-educated, I don't have a degree in creative writing from a foreign university, so probably they're biased. But then I realised I was pointing fingers. I started rediscovering myself and that made me read and write more. It was an enlightenment of sorts. Today, when people complain about being rejected, I tell them that very few writers get it right the first or second time. You have to rise above that, you have to reject rejection.
And at the same time, you insist that self-publishing is not the solution to rejection. You have even been critical of it?
When I was 24-25, had left home and started travelling, I was perhaps too poor to get self-published. But even if I wasn't, I would never do that. I am proud of what I have achieved. I fought for my books. Even when I hadn't been published, I would read a lot of these self-published books and most of them were highly unreadable. Today, there are hundreds of self-publishing units in India, and if you have deep pockets, you can actually go ahead and self-publish a book. But in doing so, you will not even be making any effort to become a better writer. Writing has to be a tough proposition; it shouldn't be cakewalk.
Your books have won prestigious awards and yet you are hardly seen in the public eye. Would you say you're a recluse?
Even when I was struggling to get published, when my manuscripts would get rejected, even then I did not feel the need to go out in the world and talk to people. I always wanted to be behind the scenes and observe. I have an aversion to being seen and spoken to in public spaces. Even in a small town, I wanted to be invisible. I walked through properties to go to school, I would never use the main road. I never made any friends - I just have a few of them. So going to award functions and receiving awards, posing for cameras is unimaginable for me. I'd rather stay unpublished. Solitude is my comfort zone.
Is this to preserve the author or the person?
The person. Look, I tried to change. There was immense pressure from my publishers to go on book tours, to go and sign books. They even said they could arrange for books to be sent and I could sign them. But I don't think I'd like that either. I know it's a bit weird, but that's how I'd like to remain.
You work in advertising. How do you strike a balance between the demands of that job and that of a writer - observing people?
These are two different streams of life. I joined advertising because to create concepts - of course, within the parameters of advertising - was an exciting prospect. You need to be imaginative to be able to do so. I don't think I would shine in any other job. Advertising opened up a lot of opportunities. Advertising is about teamwork - you have to work with other people, listen to a client's demands. But when you write a book, you're on your own. And that makes up for it.
anamika@khaleejtimes.com