Dear Therapist: 'My husband is still in love with his high-school sweetheart'
The weekly column responds to our reader's mental health queries
My husband told me he is still in love with his high school sweetheart. I don’t know how to process this information or deal with it. Should I leave him? If I stay, I will get angry at his behaviour. Maybe, I should help him get over it but this is not really my problem. I don’t know what to do with this information and after all these years of being together, leaving the marriage seems like a difficult option. — Name Withheld
Dear Writer, it is understandable that you are perplexed, lost and confused. You may even feel blindsided, as this is something that very few people expect after years of marriage. As you rightly said, it really is not your responsibility to help him move on or get over it. What you can do, however, is, process this information to explore what it means for your marriage, your identity, your lifestyle and children, if you have any. This is a major life decision and I advise you that seeing a couples therapist or going for sessions on your own can enable you to gain some clarity and make a choice based on what you discover. Alternatively, you can confide with a loved one who can offer support and help you through this difficult time. Even if you do decide to continue with your marriage, you will still need the help and support as it can foster resentment and jealousy, which taints relationships.
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