Why being humble isn't always the right way to be

This is an unpopular opinion and even controversial but let me explain. Of course, no one likes a show-off. Arrogance can push people away. But humility has become a buzzword, used to shame those that show up confidently. So many people place other people’s needs and opinions ahead of their own. This is how you lose yourself and lose sight of your truth, power and greatness. You can’t manifest your desires if you don’t think you are worthy and you can’t create the reality you want if you feel you are not good enough.

The dictionary meaning of ‘humble’

Humble (adjective): “Having or showing a low estimate of one’s own value or importance. Self-effacing, self-depreciating.”

Humble literally means ‘low to the ground’. It comes from the Latin word, ‘humilis’, which means “low, lowly, small, slight, shallow”.

Does this resonate with you? Do you want to be self-effacing and self-depreciating? Do you want to think of yourself as “lowly and small”?

Asking someone to be humble is when wounded people judge those that have done the work to heal their wounds. Being humble should not be a reflection towards your confidence. Of course, some people are lazy and insecure and they rather cover up their faults with a nice sounding word to describe themselves. But is this you?

Who should be humble?

If you haven’t achieved anything, then it makes sense to be humble. Be humble with people who’ve helped you get to where you are. On the contrary, if you’ve accomplished a lot on your own, with little help from others, it will be hard to be humble.

There’s really no good reason to be humble. You are unconsciously making unsuccessful people feel better about themselves. Being humble becomes an excuse for not admitting your own lack of self-empowerment and self-discipline. It’s a very demeaning state of being. It’s a state of holding yourself back to please others.

Not owning your gifts and your inherent greatness often comes from the unnecessary need to follow the will of others — people pleasing. This happens because it will seem safer to avoid criticism or judgment by playing small.

And we all know that there’s no way you can celebrate yourself and grow, if you’re a people pleaser.

When should you be humble?

There are many things we don’t know that we don’t know. I recommend being humble when it comes to knowledge, education and growth. We don’t know everything, humble yourself in that aspect.

However, just because you don’t know EVERYTHING doesn’t mean you don’t know enough to feel confident. Are you scared of being wrong? Why? Are you only being humble because of the fear of being judged?

In terms of your own accomplishments and for the success you have achieved - there’s no reason to be humble. The only people who would not agree, are those who haven’t accomplished as much as you.

Don’t let other people’s opinions make you feel guilty for shining your light. We are all important and you owning your magnificence is no reflection of the value of others, even if they view it that way.

Hiding yourself and your accomplishments from the world is a sign of not truly loving yourself.

Self-importance and self-love

• You can have self-importance without arrogance, which is an exaggerated sense of your own importance or value.

• You can have self-love without conceit and narcissism , which is an excessive interest in your appearance or self.

• You can have self-admiration without vanity, which is extreme pride in your own skills or achievements.

• You can feel self-important and value others at the same time.

• You can be confident and self-assured without being cocky.

A deep sense of self love can ONLY be harmful when it is used to diminish the value of another.

Be respectful

You can totally give respect, have gratitude, be polite, honour and celebrate others and their unique qualities without being humble. You can support others in feeling seen and valued, without having to belittle or ignore your achievements to do any of those things. You don’t have to brag or show off or make less fortunate people feel bad about themselves. But you don’t have to be HUMBLE either.

Never downplay your hard work and achievements. When people congratulate you don’t tone down your effort — tell them how hard you worked, and explain how you did it. Don’t talk down on yourself. Don’t play small.

Instead showcase yourself. Speak up and seize opportunities — no one is going to blow your trumpet for you. There is no shame in reminding everyone what you’re good at, what you’ve accomplished, and what sets you apart from everyone else.

I encourage you to live a magnanimous life — full of greatness, exuberance and vitality.

wknd@khaleejtimes.com

Connect with Anjaan across social media @MeditateWithAnjaan

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