Self-regulate your emotional readiness

...through meaningful rituals

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By Anjaan

Published: Thu 3 Feb 2022, 11:21 PM

We often think we are ready to do something — start a new business, a relationship, a workout regime or a new job etc. But the reality is that if we are not emotionally ready, we will be more likely to mess it up.

Emotional readiness encompasses the fundamental, foundational emotional skills that help you flourish. This skill set is collectively referred to as resilience, or the ability to handle life’s challenges and still find ways to thrive.

The Japanese word Nin from the martial arts I practice, Ninjutsu, brings alive this concept of adaptability to any situation. Just like in yoga, one of the important mental skills you develop in martial arts is resilience. Resilience is a measure of your emotional strength and endurance. It’s your ability to cope with any obstacle.

No action without enthusiasm!

When you think about whatever you are going to start, if you don’t feel positive emotions like joy, enthusiasm, excitement, ambition, gratitude, love and determination then know that you are not emotionally ready. Don’t take action when you feel that way. It’s going to end up being counterproductive and take a different shape than you have imagined.

If you are not emotionally ready then don’t do it. The neural pathways will not be aligned to help you move and put energy behind it. The body won’t manufacture the blends of chemicals that it needs to get up and take action. This is called Kriya Shakti in yoga — the ability to take action. Sanskrit words — Kriya means ‘action’ and Shakti means ‘intelligent energy’. Your emotions act as your biological and psychic assistants to pave a way for manifesting what you want in the material world. Kriya Shakti teaches you how to properly harness the power of your thoughts and emotions to create a life of success.

So, whatever you have been thinking of starting — commitment to a job, a business, anything that requires your time and energy — when you think about it, notice the emotions coming up. You may be intellectually ready and have all the logical reasons or arguments for why you must do this at this point and analytical answers of how to get it done. But if your emotions don’t agree, it won’t be a success. You won’t have the drive and the energy to see it through. When you are emotionally ready — that’s when you are actually ready to start.

How do you foster emotional readiness?

Most of the time there’s no real reason why we are not emotionally ready. This is because emotions don’t respond to reason. Emotions respond to what you’ve heard in the past 24 hours. This is a BIG secret. Maybe you haven’t heard this before. I’ve been saying this and experimenting with it and it’s a core teaching of yoga that I have received (yoga is not limited to flexibility or stretching — it’s the science of life).

Whenever the idea comes in that you are not ready — and if you’re not alert when this idea comes in your mind — this small doubt can grow into disturbed emotions. If your emotions are disturbed, your actions are going to be unsteady, unfocussed and not really confident. The simple solution here is self-regulation. Self-regulation of emotions through rituals. A ritual is something that you repeat in regular intervals and forms the basis for self-regulation.

Here are three keys to building

effective rituals.

1. Undertake only one or two rituals at a time. Start small and build incrementally.

2.Define precisely what you plan to undertake and specify exactly when you intend to do it. The more challenging the ritual, the greater the need to be precise.

3. Focus on something you do rather than something you resist. It’s easier and more effective to avoid temptation than to resist it.

A new diet works far better when you pre-choose exactly what you are going to eat rather than resisting tempting foods. This is the same for a gym routine or starting a business or getting into a new relationship. The power of ritual is that it’s a clearly defined affirmative act.

Following a series of steps over and over again, requires self-discipline. So, when you engage in a ritual, you code that behaviour as a sign that you are a person with self-regulation.

Create these vigilance algorithms in your brain. To accept things you cannot change and have the courage to change the things you can. And to have the wisdom to know the difference. This way you are better prepared for every eventuality.

I wish you tremendous self-awareness, adaptability and emotional readiness.

Connect with Anjaan across social media @MeditateWithAnjaan

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