Recently, my friend Sarah found out she was pre-diabetic. Though in the early stages, she took it upon herself to completely change her food and lifestyle choices. She cut back on sugar and complex carbs, started exercising daily and began to follow her circadian body-rhythm of sleeping, waking up and eating at the same time every day. Many people in her life did not approve of her choices, which made her doubt her decision at times. She began to falter on her path, despite knowing that this is the right way forward for her. The resistance from her family and friends was stronger than her own resolve, and eventually she slid back to her usual routine.
Sarah was unable to deal with the resisters in her life. Like Sarah, we all have resisters. They may come in the form of a colleague challenging your beliefs, a loved one dissuading you from seeking admission in (faraway) college of your dreams, or even a family member pushing you towards a lucrative career option which doesn’t resonate with you. Yes, resisters can be well meaning too! They don’t always mean to block or sabotage, but yet their conviction and stubbornness distract you from your beliefs. Sometimes the voice of the resister becomes so loud, that you may even mistake it for your own. Beware of statements like ‘I am not smart enough to study medicine’, ‘I am not confident enough to start my own business’, ‘I can never lead a team’ and other such debilitating commands. They may not belong to you at all.
The role of a resister is like a rock that disrupts the flow of a river; it stops you in your path. And this is important because when you stop, you can question where you’re heading, reconsider your belief, bring up doubts, clear them and move forward accordingly. If you have full faith in your beliefs, then the resister will not be able to stop you. Allow your conviction to propel your dreams, ideas or goals. Once you bolster the faith, resistance from others weakens and moving forward becomes smoother.
Here are some tips on how to help yourself when others resist your path:
1Protect your energy: While you incubate your dreams, keep them to yourself; flesh them out, fine-tune them, breathe life into them and have complete faith. Only then should you bring them out to the field of expression.
2Know your enablers: They are the people who are always happy for you, who always support you and help you move along on your path. Spend more time with them. Soak in their positivity.
3Empower yourself: Root yourself so strongly in your goals that other people’s negative thoughts and fears won’t stand in the way. Know your ‘why’ and have faith in the ‘how’. At the same time, be open to constructive criticism. Take what you need and move along quickly.
4Choose your battles: If you know someone just likes to push their own point of view on something that is dear to you, don’t invite yourself to that discussion. Be wise and save your energy for a more empowering discussion with someone else.
5Share only when you have complete faith: If you have fears surrounding your dream or goal, remember that others will reflect this tentativeness and doubt. The moment we feed in shaky energies, we invite others to jump in too. When you fully believe in what you are doing, living and breathing it, resisters too will have no choice but to buy into your dream. As they say, ‘Honour your dreams and they will be honoured’.
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