Parenting in UAE: Man, woman and child in 2016

Dubai - Be a more involved, modern parent as 'traditional' family benchmarks get reinvented.

Aisha Ansari, Principal, The Oxford School and Anu Margaret, Specialist 'A' Social Worker, Child Guidance Clinic, Sunny Speciality Medcial Centre with other teachers of oxford school during the seminar on' Effective Parenting' organised in school premises recently. - Supplied picture

UAE parents battling to deal with growing kids of 1-17 years must adapt 'positive parenting' as it be-comes critical since more real-life cases of kids suffering from behavioural issues come to the forefront. The twist is that kids are growing in modern times raised by those brought up on traditional parenting. The Oxford School, Dubai, organised a workshop on 'Effective Parenting' recently. "As teachers and educators, we are aware how intelligent today's children are; to cater to their needs effectively as parents we sometimes need special strategies.

There are some behavioural issues caused by poor parenting - we wanted to highlight these and provide support and guidance to parents," said Aisha Ansari, principal, The Oxford School.

The school shared the case study of a girl who was reluctant to attend class. Upon being questioned, the girl said: "Ma'am, can you let my father know that though he has provided us with facilities like iPads, laptops and enough pocket money to buy whatever we want, I want him to talk and sit with us at least for an hour in a week?"

The father confessed it would be difficult for him to spend time with his daughter because he is very busy. The girl is venting her frustration and anger at school. Many parents who attended the seminar shared their experiences. "My son is five, and it is important for us to learn how to raise him even though I come from a nursing back-ground," said a Sri Lankan parent. Similarly, Fasly, also from Sri Lanka, said: "Such programmes will guide us in raising them, striking a balance between traditional and modern parenting." lloTanzanian Fuadsbin Kuwer, whose child is in grade 1, said:

"We need to raise children the right way. We are raising them in a multicultural society and they meet people from different backgrounds." Deepa V. Adyanthaya, occupational therapist, Dubai Community Health Centre, said: "Positive parenting is all about connecting with your child. Keep a commitment to give your child time without a gad-get in hand every day. Keep aside your mobile phone, laptop etc and switch off the television, so you can listen, feel, understand, talk and play with your child.

How to do positive effective parenting:

Team effort: Husband and wife work as a 'team', speaking the same language.

Self-respect: Spouses have arguments, but avoid display of differences in the presence of children.

Role models: Bear in mind parents practise (con-sciously) what they intend to preach (teach)

Be 'in charge': Be firm with children in terms of rules set and avoid strategies of pleading, and revealing to children you are 'weak'. In general, children prefer a physically and emotionally strong parent.

Avoid undercutting: Covering up for the child sends a message to him/her that the power of one parent can be sliced off by the other.

Avoid the double bind: Being rigid at times and lenient at times for the same rule confuses the child.

Be approachable: Instill a sense of trust in children. Make use of situations to tell your children that you love them.

Have a routine: Have a fixed routine for yourselves and a separate one for children.

Quality time: Have the precious 'mother-daughter' or 'father-son' time or vice versa - a whole new perspective to the parent-child relationship could be given.

Time for yourselves: Take out time to unwind. Spend time with each other or take up a hobby or learn a skill together.

• UAE
• UAE