Dubai: Balancing 'thick skin' with 'soft heart' real challenge for women, says Barkha Dutt

The real challenge for women is finding a balance between having a thick skin and a soft heart. That is according to Emmy-nominated veteran journalist Barkha Dutt, who was speaking at the opening of a Dubai conference that gave a platform for women to find support and strength from each other.

At We the Women, organized by Khaleej Times, Dutt kicked off a heartfelt conversation with the attendees. She described it as a “community space for dialogue, sharing, laughter, and even vulnerability” for women.

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While some explained how they were asked to dim their aura, others shared that they were told they were too ambitious. Still others admitted that they often felt guilty for pursuing their own personal happiness. More than half the attendees agreed with a show of hands that they were often the only women in a boardroom or meetings, despite the UAE making great strides in workplace gender equality.

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Dutt explained how she had encountered discrimination at various steps of her journey and learnt from her mother, who was one of the first war correspondents in India. She shared that “success by itself will not insulate us from scrutiny,” and that it was important for women “to develop a thick skin” while still having a “soft heart”. She also emphasized that each generation of women owes a debt to those before them — and has a duty to open doors for those who follow.

Planning the future

The third edition of We the Women began at Address Skyview on Wednesday where hundreds of women from various disciplines across the country came together to discuss, share and learn. Helmed by Dutt, the event hosted some of the top leaders in the country who spoke about breaking glass ceilings and paving the way for other women who came behind them.

In his opening speech, Khaleej Times’ Chief Content Officer Ted Kemp noted how the event was not just a platform for celebrating victories but a stage to plan future steps. “These talks are practical tools, think of them that way,” he said. “In a time when AI threatens to possibly make everything the same, women's smart, caring style will ensure that we keep things human. At Khaleej Times, we don't just report the news, we help to show and create paths.”

The myth of superwomen

In her speech, Dutt highlighted how the myth of a superwoman was a trap. “We have seen advertisement after advertisement presenting this mythical creature whose clothes are never creased, who's perfectly turned out, who's sitting in a boardroom closing billion-dollar deals, gets a phone call from home asking what should be cooked for dinner, manages to do that,” she said.

"By the end of that, we will they look at this pathology and say, I can't do it, so there's something wrong with me. I call it the chain of gold. We are human. We are imperfect. All we can do is to find beautiful stories channeling our imperfection," she said.

Dutt added that equality must be discussed both at work and at home. “Men also struggle with conditioning,” she said. “The gender conversation, the patriarchal, the cultural influences that make us, apologetic about our mission also put a kind of pressure on men to be a certain way. And men feel judged when they're not that way. And I think when we start dismantling the barriers that prevent us from having an honest conversation with each other is when we begin to have a real conversation without apology.” 

• Dubai

Nasreen Abdulla

nasreen@khaleejtimes.com

Nasreen Abdulla is a Special Correspondent covering food, tech and human interest stories. When not challenged by deadlines, you’ll find her pulling off submissions on the jiu jitsu mats.