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Why hurry? Get high on patience in elevators
So, of the four lifts in the 38-storeyed building, three don't work.
- PUBLISHED: Sun 29 Apr 2018, 9:00 PM UPDATED: Sun 29 Apr 2018, 11:05 PM
There is a problem with the elevators in my building. I know the proper term is elevator, but since I grew up saying 'lift'...
So, of the four lifts in the 38-storeyed building, three don't work. They have been under maintenance, like forever. Last three months, at least. Upgradation notices abound in the lobby apolgising for the inconvenience caused. People are losing patience. Maybe by 2020 the lifts will be sorted.
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To most people, it's not funny. Over the weekend, a third lift conked. I skipped going for a walk dreading the lift situation. I was too lazy to take the stairs.
I confess I enjoy mundane grievances like dead lifts making everyone suffer equally. I like watching the reactions. It's a great leveller - to see the woman with the blow-dried hair and the fake lashes and the Prada tote wait alongside the Zomato dude delivering his umpteenth food delivery. These situations are good for a society. No one should be deluded enough to think inconvenience is for people beneath them, some kind of a personal insult.
Anyway, long story short, I skipped an evening walk so I wouldn't have to - not so much 'take the lift' - but surround myself (yea, yea, for all of 10 seconds) with the whiny vibe of people coming up, going down, sighing, uttering 'tsk', jabbing away at the close-door button.
One evening, back from work, I was waiting in the lobby, that usual interminable wait, and one chap was cussing loudly on the phone to his friend who obviously lived in the building - "Man. I can't believe the lift is so slow, why is this so messed up?" (He didn't say messed up, he used another phrase, you know it, and he repeated it a couple of times, even when we were in the lift and even after I asked him what floor).
Good elevator etiquette demands, if not shutting up, leaving out the cussing. It's pretty basic: smile a half smile as you enter, smile the same half smile as you exit. Sometimes to mix it up, throw in a hi and a bye, especially when leaving. You're allowed to make puffer fish faces at infants in the arms of the parents. And you have to try and stay off your cellphone so that for a shared 10-second 'commute', the other person(s) don't feel they're in the company of robots. Little things contribute to your frame of mind.
The other day, I found it endearing that one man wished every single person who stepped in, and even exchanged fist bumps with one or two of the residents. That's nice. I thought it was friendly. We can do with more of that attitude. Everyone has long days at work. No one wants to stay stuck in the lift forever. No one is happy that lifts aren't working.
Over the weekend, there was chaos. There were two moments on separate occasions of brief respite when everyone chuckled at the 'overload' red light and the last person in had to step out, but you could just inhale the impatience.
One woman actually held her nostrils shut when a delivery man entered the lift! What is wrong with people, they have no patience, my husband said when we 'alighted' on our floor. What has patience got to do with it, I asked. That's the lesser sin. It's plain obnoxious to pinch your nostrils shut or cover your face when anyone walks into the elevator. It's fine if you're one of those surgical masks-wearing tourists obsessed with barricading noxious particulate matter but this was heartless.
Oh, and the other thing: why do most people face each other like they're at some party on a terrace? Why can't everyone just stand as they're supposed to, looking straight? Maybe Dubai Municipality can print flowcharts like they have on the metro travelator (stand right, walk left) to guide people about how to stand inoffensively in a lift. How are we going to guide people about how to behave though?