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We are human so we can be imperfect

Humour and imperfections seem to go hand in hand, enriching our lives with laughter. Don't we all love that fumbling friend, forgetful cousin, never-on time nephew.

By Annie Mathew (Random Thoughts)

Published: Thu 5 Sep 2019, 10:17 PM

Last updated: Fri 6 Sep 2019, 12:19 AM

Many of us seek perfection in all we do with the misguided notion that perfection leads to happiness. Thus, we are in pursuit of both perfection and happiness not realising that the more we chase, the farther they move away.
I believe imperfections bring that extra sparkle, a bit of wackiness and dollops of reality to our lives. A perfect life, if it exists at all, would be a boring one.
To feel alive, we need to have varied experiences in life. If we have never faced trials and tribulations, how will we know the true value of peace? If we have never failed, how will we appreciate the true worth of success?
I got thinking about this after reading about a wife who filed for divorce from her husband who was 'perfect' in every way. He loved her to bits, gave her gifts daily, helped with household chores and went on a diet and exercised when she mentioned about his weight so much so that he fractured his leg. Whoa! Is he for real?!
But she wanted discussions and arguments like in any healthy relationship. The petty squabbles and short spells of not talking to each other add to the charm in relationships.
Oh! the joy of making up after a fight! How will we ever experience that thrill if there are no disagreements or disputes?
But then again, isn't it almost next to impossible not to have tiffs between two thinking, intelligent individuals. But then again, one should be wise enough to know how far a fight can go and how it has to be resolved without much damage. When arguments escalate and tend to get personal, we should know it's time to put an end to it and agree to disagree. It's not that difficult to find a middle ground or an amicable solution to any dispute if we want to do so.
Any relationship founded on love, mutual respect and trust can weather many such storms and make the relationship stronger.
Imperfections abound around us and most often are amusing and make us smile. We may not easily recollect events when things went almost to perfection but what we remember are the times when there were goof-ups and fun.
Stage plays are great platforms for things to go wrong as there are no options for retakes.
Our favourite photographs from the past would be the ones with candid funny poses and gestures, not the ones where everyone is statuesque.
Many of us don't remember the detailed lectures delivered to us in schools and colleges but will never forget the times when plans went awry.
Humour and imperfections seem to go hand in hand, enriching our lives with laughter.
Don't we all love that fumbling friend, forgetful cousin, never-on time nephew . the list is long. They do annoy us at times but we learn patience and tolerance knowing that we are imperfect, too.
There are many famous perfectionists who have contributed immensely to the world and I salute them. But the constant pressure to live up to the standards and expectations may take a toll on the mental well-being.
Perfectionism is in no way to be confused with competencies and hard work. We need to put in our best in all we do and in our relationships. We must strive for progress and excellence. We must keep learning to get better at what we do. There are no excuses for doing shoddy jobs.
We must also remember that we are human and are imperfect. We should just learn to accept that in ourselves and in others. As the adage goes - We were born to be real, not perfect.
Annie Mathew is an educator and writer based in Dubai

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