E-Paper
Sign In
Cow and bulls of politics
The PPP has invented its own WikiLeaks in the shape of Dr Zulfikar Mirza who is currently on a whirlwind tour of interior Sindh to disclose the true facts about the killings in Karachi and the conspiracies hatched by the 'enemies of Pakistan'.
- PUBLISHED: Mon 5 Sept 2011, 9:03 PM UPDATED: Tue 7 Apr 2015, 9:55 AM
“The only problem is that he has to keep his head covered with the Holy Quran all the time to make the people believe what he is saying,” Mr Right said.
Recommended For You
“I think he carried the Quran to his public meetings as a mark of respect to the holy month of Ramadan,” I said. “Mirza is a devout Muslim and is against killings, but he is a fire-eater who loves to kill his opponents verbally.”
“Mirza feels target killings in Karachi could be stopped by ‘people of honour’ who had been issued 300,000 arms licences,” Mr Right pointed out. “These licences had not been issued for celebratory firing in marriages,” he told a rally in Lyari.”
“It’s an apt remedy, indeed, suggested by the former interior minister as a large population of gun-totting youths will die in ‘tit-for-tat’ shooting and peace will return to Karachi finally,” I remarked.
“Mirza identified his enemies too who included a governor, two federal ministers and a whole political party,” Mr Right said. “The former minister lamented that the present government failed to eliminate them by administering the medicines prescribed by him. Mirza said he would have turned the province into a paradise because he though he was an ‘80 per cent chief minister’ but unfortunately the man with the remaining 20 per cent powers did not help him.”
“Of all the revelations attributed to Mirza, this one is the most astounding,” I said. “ I have heard about the people with divided personalities but I never thought there could also be a 20 per cent prime minister or a 30 per cent chief justice.”
“Everything is possible in our country,” Mr Right said. “Many people say that we have a head of state who is 50 per cent president and 50 per cent chairman of his political party.”
“This is true for our prime minister too,” he observed. “But nobody is actually able to find out how much percentage of power he commands as the prime minister. Some say he is only 50 per cent prime minister and many others think he might not have even that much of power.”
“Don’t you think, Mirza’s current campaign to win over anti-MQM vote in the interior Sindh is aimed at claiming a 100 per cent chief minister’s berth in any future arrangement?” I asked.
“It is very much possible, because despite expressing his hatred for ministers who are clearly favourites of Mr Zardari, he is all praise for him and his son Bilawal,” Mr Right said. “Mirza’s solo flight in Sindh’s wilderness of turbulent politics is not purposeless and might have the blessings of the party bigwigs clandestinely.”
“He has even admitted in a statement that “he did nothing without permission from President Asif Zardari,” I referred to a news report.
“I am not sure if Mr President will ever refute this statement,” Mr Right said.
“And what do you say about Mirza’s claim that Home Minister Rehman Malik was helping the MQM in its efforts to break the country?” I asked.
“Who would believe this cock-and-bull story,” Mr Right said. “Mirza is a bully by temperament and the party bosses use his services to upset the apple cart of his opponents and sometimes even of their allies as the time demands.”
“But I am afraid, the bully might turn into a bull in the China shop for the ruling party,” I said.
“It will never happen,” Mr Right said. “Mr Zardari is skilled enough to deal with all the cows and bulls. There are no holy cows or bulls in his party.”
“He has the ability to tame wild animals that’s why he is heading such a large gathering of heterogeneous ‘political livestock’ in the best spirit of reconciliation,” I said. “A great government indeed.”
“A great horse and cattle show!” Mr Right quipped.
Najmul Hasan Rizvi is a former Assistant Editor of Khaleej Times