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Beware of ‘big mouth’
I feel sad for our most witty Zulfikar Mirza who was ready to resume his 'sabre-rattling' as home minister after spending his 'well-earned' holiday in comparative quiet, Mr Right said. “Those sending me on a holiday have now gone on leave themselves,” the ardent lover of political controversies, declared at a reception in his honour at Karachi last week.
- PUBLISHED: Mon 11 Jul 2011, 8:43 PM UPDATED: Tue 7 Apr 2015, 9:48 AM
“It is unfair that this champion of repartee has been replaced by somebody else as the provincial home minister, depriving people of some great gems of oratory,” Mr Right observed. “He has a wry sense of humour, no doubt, and has the natural talent to whip up a controversy through his caustic remarks, but he is not the only practitioner of unguarded tongue-lashing,” I said. “We are living in the era of oral anarchy.”
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“I agree, we are a nation of ‘Big Mouths’,” Mr Right remarked. “And this fact can be verified by turning to the various talk shows being dished out every day on our TV channels.”
“Since politicians earn their living wagging their tongue, they are in the forefront in creating chaos and fuelling dissension,” I said. “They are followed by religious leaders, news analysts and anchors who find the ‘idiot box’ of television, a readily available mode to display their muck-raking.”
“After cricket, mud-slinging is the most popular sport among our people,” Mr Right pointed out. “That’s why you will find a mud-slinging tournament taking place every next week.”
“And the players winning the pride of performance include many bigwigs,” I said. “They call each other untrustworthy, unreliable and uncompromising.”
“Among them are two top leaders who blame each other for creating political unrest and undermining democracy,” Mr Right observed. “One calls the other a ‘Maulvi, a deceit and the other finds his opponent a complete disaster for the country.”
“Coalition partners most of the time are on a collision course,” I said. “And their workers at the lower level are always very keen to show that there is no love lost between their parties.”
“The feelings of hatred are mutual and reciprocal and they are even ready to offer fateha on each other’s grave if somebody chooses to kick the bucket,” Mr Right smiled. “The result is that a court is currently looking into an allegation of a member of the ruling party that one of his opponents thought he was ‘fit for assassination’.”
“In the present scenario, all parties could draw a list of their opponents who need to be consigned to heaven in order to implement the charter of democracy,” I said. “That’s a pragmatic thinking, because democracy can be implemented only in heaven where only one-party system of government is in place, “Mr Right commented.
“The coalition government, in fact, is a replica of that heavenly democracy,” he further said. “Parties join hands to run the system according to on-point agenda—Reconciliation.”
“But in my humble view, the ‘reconciliation bandwagon’ can travel only if travellers know how to hold their tongues,” I said. “A motorist was stopped by a policeman. He rolled down his window and asked, “Is there any problem, Officer?” “No problem at all. I just observed your safe driving and am pleased to offer you a $5,000 Safe Driver Award. Congratulations. What do you think you’re going to do with the money? “
The driver thought for a moment and said, Well, I guess I‘ll go get the driver’s licence? The lady sitting in the passenger seat shouted, “Oh, don’t pay attention to him, Sir. He shoots his mouth when he is drunk.”
“The guy from the back seat then blurted out, “I told you guys we wouldn’t get far in a stolen car.” I said, “See what happens when ‘big mouths’ are around you.”
Mr Right smiled. “Democracy is not a stolen car, yet coalition partners must stay sober if they want to reach the destination.”
Najmul Hasan Rizvi is a former Assistant Editor of Khaleej Times