Is this TV show glamourizing suicide among teenagers?

This week, there was talk in the UAE of a chilling game called 'Blue Whale' where players - often teens - are told to kill themselves; a show on Netflix has become hugely popular. The theme? Suicide. Read on

Nearly a month ago, Netflix may have, unknowingly, opened a Pandora's Box when it released what is now the 'most tweeted show of 2017,' 13 Reasons Why. Based on Jay Asher's 2007 bestseller, the show tells the story of 17-year-old Hannah Baker, who, after being ruthlessly bullied by her classmates, takes her life. Hannah leaves behind cassettes, each side of which is dedicated to one of her peers, who may have been - directly or indirectly - responsible for her death. Ever since its release, some teens have expressed their absolute love for the show while some critics have opined that 13 Reasons Why 'glamorises suicide'. The New Zealand Office of Film and Literature changed the show's rating, suggesting parental guidance for those under 18. A school in Canada apparently issued letters to parents, asking them to ensure their kids don't discuss 13 Reasons Why in classrooms.
Netflix, on its part, is well aware of the polarising debates the show has created and is on its way to add more advisories. "We knew the material covered sensitive topics and we worked with mental health experts to show how these issues impact teens in real and dramatic ways. Currently, the episodes that carry graphic content carry additional advisories and the series overall carries a TV-MA rating. Moving forward, we will add an additional viewer warning card before the first episode as an extra precaution for those about to start the series," a Netflix spokesperson told Khaleej Times.
You may have your reasons to love or loathe the show, but it can't be denied that at the heart of 13 Reasons Why is a sordid tale of loneliness and depression of a teenager - issues that tend to get brushed under the carpet. In these hyper-paced times, is our understanding of the teenage experience getting simplistic? Are their silences telling a story of a deeply personal struggle?
The Teenage Experience
It is indeed an irony of our times that in a hyper-connected world, loneliness would become an 'epidemic', as a spate of articles in the Western media recently reported. Many contended that the teens' affinity to social media and technology at large is taking them away from a real connect! Rania Ghaffar, a UAE-based emotional intelligence and happiness expert nods in agreement. She explains the phenomenon through an "input-output" process of the mind. "Today, teenagers have far greater access to information and they are constantly processing that. What they don't have are the areas where they can output this information. This is primarily because at that age no one has any expectations from them. They are reading extraordinary stories - of courage, failure, good, evil - and trying to find their place in the world. No one tells them it's okay if you are not extraordinary and this can be very confusing to them. Eventually, in their head, they start living with a person they don't fully understand and that manifests in their behaviour." The parents, on their part, can keep up with the technology that their child is accessing, but keeping up with the effect that technology has on your child is nearly impossible.
Rania adds that in places such as the UAE, where there is a sizeable expat population, there are greater chances of a disconnect between the teen and his or her parent. "In one's home country, you have an extended familial support system and friends, that a teen can hope to fall back on. Here, the teen tends to rely more on external experiences such as a mall visit or a game on the iPad to feel happy or relaxed." And as Rania helpfully reminds us, iPads cannot teach you how to smile.
Adult Accountability
At 27, Aishwarya Tyagi has left her teens far behind. Yet, 13 Reasons Why has struck a chord with her not only because of its depiction of the struggles of teenagers, but the perfectly imperfect world they inhabit at home and in the world. "I love that not only the students but even the adults have questionable roles. You can see them ignoring clear signs of depression in a teenage girl. This is an issue many people, including family members, dismiss as 'hormonal change'. It is a confusing time when you're trying to define who you are. They don't call it the awkward age for no reason."
Helping them get by the 'awkward age', parents have a more definitive and challenging role. Clinical psychologist Urmimala Sinha of Primacare Clinic explains that if you're a disciplinarian, your children may not be comfortable talking about their innermost fears, which itself is confusing to them. If you are lenient, in the absence of clear dos and donts, your child can make faulty choices. The key then is to strike a balance, and become a participant rather than a mute witness to your teen's life. "Though there is a rise in teenage depression, studies show that there hasn't been a corresponding increase in mental health treatments for adolescents. It is an indication that a huge number of teens do not seek treatment. The reasons can vary from person to person but usually most teenagers feel that their parents might get worried and 'freak out'. They feel they may not understand the genuineness of their difficulties and say, 'there is nothing to be depressed about,' which makes the teens feel more misunderstood."
In the age of branding, every unfamiliar, unrelatable quirk comes with easy labels. Your child's grumpiness may not always be a 'millennial quirk'. Perhaps the person behind the label needs help.
Anamika is an aspiring fashionista who hopes to be Sheldon Cooper
anamika@khaleejtimes.com
 
 

• UAE