Imran Khan's victory in Pakistan's elections may have brought some hope to households in the UAE, especially those that have bridged the international divide between India and Pakistan through marriage. Those love stories of cross-border couples continue to evolve and charm us each time with snippets of sweet-and-sour experiences. But as the couples gear up to celebrate the 71st Independence Day of both the nations back to back, they have common desires - free travel, easier visas and peace between the historically warring nations. We spoke to three such couples in Dubai who took the leap of faith in trying to prove the phrase "love conquers all" as true.
Still waiting for acceptance
When in 2012, Vignesh Menon, a Keralite Hindu, started dating Irshad Ruby, a Christian makeup artist from Pakistan, his friends warned him: Be careful as she's probably just eyeing your money. His friends were certain that they couldn't have a happily married future together. Six months later, Vignesh suffered a huge loss in his business. He had to give up his house, fancy cars and he couldn't even afford to buy a meal. His friends blamed the 'Pakistani woman' in his life to have brought the misfortune. "When I became completely broke in the start of 2013, the first help came from Pakistan. My wife, then friend, had sold her mother's jewellery to send me cash," the Indian legal advisor said. "She even cooked food for me and gave me her entire month's salary. At that time, we had no plan of getting married," he added. A few months later, Ruby popped the question: "What if we get married?" Vignesh, who came from a traditional Keralite family, feared getting ostracised from his family. He sought opinion from a hundred friends and 99 of them suggested otherwise. However when Vignesh's father supported him, his confidence was boosted. They got married on April 23, 2014. "If I was getting married in India to a Keralite woman, we would have about 4,000 to 5,000 guests in the wedding. Sadly in our case, only three friends attended our wedding. Our parents were not a part of it," he said. Vignesh's mother found out many months later that he was married and that too to a Pakistani woman. She was shocked and simply refused to accept her. "She sort of felt ashamed that I had married outside the community. All the dreams she had about having a Keralite daughter-in-law got shattered. She even said if I would go to our house in Kerala with my wife, she would leave the house." Things took a positive turn when Vignesh and Ruby had their first child - Anjali. "When I held her in my arms for the first time, I knew the world would change," he said. His mother paid a visit to their Dubai house for the first time to meet her newborn granddaughter and Ruby left no stone unturned to win her heart. "I decorated the house with flowers and candles. All I needed was her acceptance," Ruby said. "I have grown up watching Indian movies and I am a big fan of the Indian cricket team. When India wins a match against Pakistan, my husband and I both dance to drumbeats. Initially I would make Punjabi parathas at home and now I cook South Indian dosas and idlis. We celebrate all the Indian festivals such as Holi, Diwali together and I always take the initiative, especially because that's the time he buys me new clothes," she laughed. "I see no difference between my husband and I - except the colour of our passports." This Independence Day, the family hopes to celebrate both August 14 and 15, back to back. "Last year on August 14, my daughter and I clicked a photo of ourselves waving the Pakistani flag and on August 15, we had a similar photo with the Indian flag. My daughter will never know any difference between the two countries," Vignesh said.
It was just a cakewalk
Husain Abbas, a media and advertising professional from Mumbai, India, connected with Dr Masuma Abbas, a gynaecologist from Karachi, over Facebook messages. The next time they met was at the Dubai airport where they spent three hours together before departing for their respective destinations. "I didn't like anything about him and he didn't like anything about me. But we ended up getting married. The next time we met was at our wedding," Dr Masuma joked. Her parents were fine as long as she got married to a Muslim man. She laughed: "Indian men are more domesticated as their mothers teach them how to do dishes, laundry etc. Moreover, I was happy to get married to an Indian national as I believe they are very supportive of their wives' career." As for Husain, it wasn't hard for him to convince his parents either. "I was getting married to a good-looking doctor. Why would my parents say no? And even I joked with my parents that in the future, we will all be rich, thanks to my wife's lucrative profession," he said. They got married on July 16, 2009 in Mumbai and now they have two young daughters. Husain said that one thing he would love his daughters to learn from Pakistan is Urdu language. "I am going to teach my kids Urdu as the language really fascinates me. The fascination developed after I got married to her," he added. When asked about the challenges faced by cross-border couples in Dubai, he said promptly: The food. "I think Pakistani food is very spicy and Indian men may not be used to it. So it's a real challenge. Other than that, life's good." They both laughed.
Let's take steps to get closer
Jahanzeb Mashhadi, a marketing professional from Patna, India, got introduced to Mahwish Naseem, a HR professional from Karachi, Pakistan, through common friends. While Jahanzeb immediately fell for Mahwish, she was not ready to take the impending challenges head on. "I had immediately liked him but I had my 'Pakistani glasses' on. I imagined it would be very complicated getting married to an Indian, even though we were both Muslims. I told him it wouldn't work out in the long term," Mahwish said. But it was too late. Jahanzeb was very much in love with her and kept persisting till she said yes. While his parents didn't have a dramatic reaction when he broke the news to them, Mahwish's parents were shocked. "My mother was worried about our future, considering the decades of rivalry between the two countries. When she met Jahanzeb for the first time, she even asked him what passport would our children have," Mahwish joked. They got married in December 2017 at a civil court in Al Barsha. "It was a cakewalk to get married in Dubai. In a matter of 20 minutes, we were legally married with a certificate both stamped and signed," she said. "That's where we credit Dubai - a haven for cross-border marriages." Even in their married life, they haven't felt any cultural divide because they have the same religion. "I would feel closer to a Pakistani family than to a South Indian family as we both have the same customs and traditions. We only feel the divide when there's an India-Pakistan cricket match," Jahanzeb joked. "The last time India lost a match against Pakistan, I kept cursing and abusing the Indian team." It also makes for a fun conversation when people ask where they are from. "We were in Italy last month. When a Nigerian gentleman learned that we were from two warring nations, he said your governments should meet you. You set an example for them. It's funny that people from all over the world get amazed to hear about us. That's how infamous our rivalry is," Jahanzeb said. This year, they will be celebrating their first Independence Day together as a married couple. Their message? People who want to marry across the borders should do so now and give the governments more incentives to work together. "We hope that the two countries come closer and facilitate easier travel and visas. Europe has fought two world wars, more massive and bloodier, but you still have free travel throughout Europe. No borders. Why can't India and Pakistan be the same? Why carry so much hatred in our hearts? After Imran Khan got elected, he said if India takes one step, Pakistan will take two. Please take those steps," Jahanzeb added. nilanjana@khaleejtimes.com
iPhone | iPad
Android
Huawei
