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Why anger management classes are important to resolve marital disputes

angel@khaleejtimes.com Filed on July 23, 2017 | Last updated on July 23, 2017 at 03.57 pm
Why anger management classes are important to resolve marital disputes
A partner can snap and the moment of rage can be triggered in just a matter of seconds because all the past emotions bottled up will just erupt.

Note that, in all likelihood, the gravity of unresolved issues may have started in the past.

Marital problems, when left unsolved, sometimes lead to physical aggression and anger between partner. This is often experienced on a daily basis and violent confrontations might erupt even in the most dangerous places.

Take the case of a young couple - in their early 30s - who have been married for almost a decade. One day, while the husband was driving, a heated argument ensued between the couple. The husband did not pay attention to his wife's complaints and she, unable to handle what she felt like outright dismissal, took her high heels and in a fit of anger, hit her husband on the head.

Luckily, he was able to control the wheel and they survived without an accident, except for a small lump on the man's head. 

It might even sound comical, but the point here is raging people desperately need to be heard. It doesn't matter whether the hateful or hurtful words they're hurling at each other are right or wrong, what is more important and basic is that there should be a recognition and resolution of their nagging disagreement for the health and happiness of their marriage.

According to Farah Dahabi, a licensed clinical social worker in the USA and programme coordinator for Raymee Grief Centre at The LightHouse Arabia in Dubai, "Anger is a natural human emotion but when it results in violence towards your partner, it is crucial to get support through interventions such as anger management."

Dahabi says with a resounding yes that it is important to take an anger management class.

"Emotional health requires that anger is processed or it will continue to resurface, but it must be expressed in a healthy way," she explains.

Note that, in all likelihood, the gravity of unresolved issues may have started in the past. A partner can snap and the moment of rage can be triggered in just a matter of seconds because all the past emotions bottled up will just erupt.

Dahabi says, "Anger management interventions guide the process of transforming your relationship with how you express anger; you learn how to be responsive to your anger rather than reactive." 

She also underlines that "influence or intervention should come from love, not fear or intimidation."

Anger has the ability to hijack our mind and body. Dahabi says, "In order to control anger, we must understand emotional triggers and build healthy pathways to process those emotions."

She adds: "While there are quick tools to aid in diffusing anger, the most sustainable change typically requires counseling. Some of those quick tips to control anger include: walking away, not trusting your judgement when angry, exercise, reflect on your values, and remind yourself that what you're feeling is a temporary state." 

Finally, here is some of her valuable advice: "First, it is important to understand that survivours of domestic abuse do not cause their abuse, even if they are unreasonable or unkind. I believe individuals who struggle with their anger are not bad people, but must hold themselves accountable and seek support to break the destructive cycle they are in." 

Tell-tale signs of a potential abusive spouse

According to Farah Dahabi: "The most blatant tell-tale signs of a potential abusive spouse include anger, control, inappropriate jealousy, emotional abuse, and using intimidation and isolation.

Very early and more subtle warning signs can include someone who consistently blames their negative feelings on those closest to them, an attitude of resentment, predatory self-esteem, which means they have a need to make others feel bad about themselves to feed their own self-esteem, deceit, and not respecting boundaries. Alcohol and substance abuse have shown to be a risk factor for partner violence, Dahabi adds.

To best understand if we are in an abusive partnership, we must understand that physical violence is only one form of abuse. Emotional abuse, using coercion or threats, using intimidation, isolating one from their support system, and economic abuse make up a larger system of abuse. These components are typically established to instill fear and maintain control.

angel@khaleejtimes.com

Quick tips to control anger include:

. Walk away if you feel unable to control your anger

. Don't trust your judgement when angry 

. Do physical exercise

. Reflect on your values

. Remind yourself that what you're feeling is a temporary state

 

 

 

 

Angel Tesorero


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