Dear Therapist: ‘My parents want me to get married after university’

Making sense of the world we inhabit

By Prateeksha Shetty

Published: Thu 10 Mar 2022, 10:26 PM

I am in grade 12 and want to pursue higher education in music studies and become a playback singer. However, my parents don’t want me to have a career and want me to get married after university. I don’t know if I’ll be successful in becoming a singer so I don’t know how to stand up to them but I definitely want to have a successful career. I don’t know what to do and how to convince them. — Name Withheld

Dear Writer, a guaranteed successful career in music need not be the only reason for not standing up to your parents. Your wishes, desires and plans for your life are valid and if you believe in them, you will need to work towards it. You can discuss this with your parents and make your plans evident. This is, of course, tricky, given that you depend on them in many ways. I recommend that you enrol help of a kind aunt/uncle or any adult whose opinion your parents may consider. It is quite clear that your parents’ plans do not align with yours and this will be a bone of contention in the coming years. Additionally, I recommend that you seek professional counselling as a source of support; these sensitive discussions with parents can get overwhelming and you will need all the support that you can muster!

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