Dear Therapist: I'm not doing enough as a parent

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By Prateeksha Shetty

Published: Wed 3 Nov 2021, 2:38 PM

Last updated: Wed 3 Nov 2021, 4:35 PM

I feel like I’m not doing enough as a parent. Me and my husband are not financially stable and struggle to make ends meet. This is why it’s not possible to give our kids the best possible education and we have to send them to a school I don’t think is very good simply because it’s cheaper. They keep complaining that they don’t have the latest phones and electronics like some of their friends. This upsets me and makes me feel that I’m not able to provide them with all of that. — Name withheld

Dear Writer, I am sorry to hear that you are struggling to make ends meet. I understand that it is hard to provide all the amenities that your children demand or require. Your distress, while valid, is based on feelings of inadequacy and guilt. There are only finite things that we can control, and I am sure that you are doing the best you can, perhaps even sacrificing your own needs. You are doing enough! Your children may not necessarily understand your struggles, but it’s important that they learn to value money and not get competitive about material possessions. The fact that you provide a safe space, protect them from harm and care for them is so much more important than buying the latest gadgets! This could be a learning phase as a family and parents, where you learn to cherish and invest in values and experiences that help you flourish.

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